my sister's husband came over to our place yesterday... no. i won't start on my sister. not today. i want to give myself a break. i'll be putting all my family worries on the back burner for now. i'm thinking about the vacant positions available for the taking in the office. should i go for it? should i wait it out?
my heart palpitates just thinking about sending in my resume. i want to be the next senior rep or team lead here in the office. i know that i'll be able to do the job real well but... i'm scared. i'm scared that i'll be measured and weighed and found lacking. i'm scared that i won't be able to fulfill my superiors' expectations. my head will definitely be above my heart when i go for either senior rep or tl position. i know that i am not the only worthy candidate. in fact, there are a lot of reps here that would probably fit the bill better... but oh! i really want it...
let me pause in silence for a little soul-searching...
i don't feel like doing anything today. i don't want to work. i don't want to read. i don't want to watch anything. i just want to sit and stare and think. my head is filled with thoughts of what i want to do, what i need to do, what i can do and what i can't. i feel like it's about ready to explode. my head is tired and all i want to do today is to sit and stare and listen to my heart.
i want to stay still and hear my heart beat. i want to listen to its thoughts and what it's trying to say. i want to know if it's still happy. if it's as tired beating as my mind is tired of thinking.
there are so many things i want done but i can't seem to find the energy or dedication to finish them. all my goals seem to have gone farther from me instead of closer. i could do what i want but what i truly long for i can't even begin to start.
sad thoughts. my head and my heart, filled with sad thoughts and unfulfilled longings. all sad thoughts. no wonder i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to do anything anymore.
i am stuck once again with no luck at finding the back door.
i want to stay still and hear my heart beat. i want to listen to its thoughts and what it's trying to say. i want to know if it's still happy. if it's as tired beating as my mind is tired of thinking.
there are so many things i want done but i can't seem to find the energy or dedication to finish them. all my goals seem to have gone farther from me instead of closer. i could do what i want but what i truly long for i can't even begin to start.
sad thoughts. my head and my heart, filled with sad thoughts and unfulfilled longings. all sad thoughts. no wonder i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to do anything anymore.
i am stuck once again with no luck at finding the back door.
umalis na si geisha sa bahay. kanina lang. inaway sila ng magaling kong ate. and all the while that they were getting crap from my sister, i was getting the same from her thru text messages.
sabi ni ate bastos daw dahil gabi na eh ang ingay-ingay pa daw. kesyo yung mga sapatos eh diretso lang hanggang kwarto. kesyo ang ingay pag umaakyat sa hagdanan kahit na alam na maynatutulog... o sige na. sige na... so maingay sila, magulo at mahilig manood ng tv hanggang madaling araw. eh ok lang naman yon di ba? kasi gising sila hanggang madaling araw eh. yung mga sapatos naman eh wala na kami dapat pakialam kung iakyat dun sa kwarto nila. they are renting that room so they could do anything they please with that room. labas na kami doon. isa pa, hindi naman kasi sya dapat nandito eh.
that's the main point. she shouldn't be bothered by any of geisha's habits because she isn't supposed to be staying long in the house. she should be back to bacolod by now. but she opted to leave her kids and stay here despite knowing there is no place for her to sleep here. and now she's creating such a riot.
ang ayos at linis ng bahay bago sya dumating. ngayon ang dumi-dumi na. at wag nya sabihin na kasalanan nina geisha yun dahil mga kaldero at gamit nya ang nakakalat sa kusina at banyo. tingin ko nagawa lang sya ng dahilan para umalis sina geisha. masama man sa loob ko, pinaalis ko na sila kesa naman pag-initan pan ng hudas kong kapatid. alam ko naman na gusto ng maldita kong kapatid na umalis sina giesha para sya naman ang matulog dun sa kwarto nung mga yon. o siguro, may nakausap sya na kasundo nya na magre-renta dun sa kabilang kwarto.
hay! stress talaga!!!
i don't want to be paranoid but knowing how my sister's devious mind works, she will soon have me and keith packing. yep. no doubt about that. susulsulan sya ng mga demonyo naming kamag-anak na paalisin ako at tulad ng ginawa nya kina geisha, maghahabi sya ng kwento sa nanay ko. magrereklamo ng kesyo ganito at ganun ako. well, we won't be sisters if i don't have a devious mind myself. panahon na para ipahati ang lupa namin sa makati. o siguro dapat ibenta na lang. at tingnan natin kung san sya tatakbo pag wala na talaga syang matitirhan dito. pasensyahan kami pareho.
sabi ni ate bastos daw dahil gabi na eh ang ingay-ingay pa daw. kesyo yung mga sapatos eh diretso lang hanggang kwarto. kesyo ang ingay pag umaakyat sa hagdanan kahit na alam na maynatutulog... o sige na. sige na... so maingay sila, magulo at mahilig manood ng tv hanggang madaling araw. eh ok lang naman yon di ba? kasi gising sila hanggang madaling araw eh. yung mga sapatos naman eh wala na kami dapat pakialam kung iakyat dun sa kwarto nila. they are renting that room so they could do anything they please with that room. labas na kami doon. isa pa, hindi naman kasi sya dapat nandito eh.
that's the main point. she shouldn't be bothered by any of geisha's habits because she isn't supposed to be staying long in the house. she should be back to bacolod by now. but she opted to leave her kids and stay here despite knowing there is no place for her to sleep here. and now she's creating such a riot.
ang ayos at linis ng bahay bago sya dumating. ngayon ang dumi-dumi na. at wag nya sabihin na kasalanan nina geisha yun dahil mga kaldero at gamit nya ang nakakalat sa kusina at banyo. tingin ko nagawa lang sya ng dahilan para umalis sina geisha. masama man sa loob ko, pinaalis ko na sila kesa naman pag-initan pan ng hudas kong kapatid. alam ko naman na gusto ng maldita kong kapatid na umalis sina giesha para sya naman ang matulog dun sa kwarto nung mga yon. o siguro, may nakausap sya na kasundo nya na magre-renta dun sa kabilang kwarto.
hay! stress talaga!!!
i don't want to be paranoid but knowing how my sister's devious mind works, she will soon have me and keith packing. yep. no doubt about that. susulsulan sya ng mga demonyo naming kamag-anak na paalisin ako at tulad ng ginawa nya kina geisha, maghahabi sya ng kwento sa nanay ko. magrereklamo ng kesyo ganito at ganun ako. well, we won't be sisters if i don't have a devious mind myself. panahon na para ipahati ang lupa namin sa makati. o siguro dapat ibenta na lang. at tingnan natin kung san sya tatakbo pag wala na talaga syang matitirhan dito. pasensyahan kami pareho.
ang bilis ng panahon. mga tatlong linggo na rin ang kapatid ko dito sa maynila. sa loob ng 3 linggong iyon nagawa nyang makapag-ayos ng negosyo nya at maibenta ang halos lahat ng gamit sa bahay namin. yung tv rack, yung washing machine (na tita ni keith ang bumili), yung kabinet, pati na yung sofa set na regalo sa nanay ko binenta nya. grabe nga daw makabenta ng gamit ang kapatid ko eh sabi ni keith. parang hikahos na hikahos daw sa pera. eh hindi nga ba?! anyway, she was able to send money to her kids and she even got her daughter a cellphone. it's not bad... not bad at all...
PERO ang dumi ng bahay. as in! nagkalat ang mga gamit ng kapatid ko sa sala. yung mga pinaglutuan nya ng tinda nya eh umaabot hanggang sa may hagdanan at banyo namin. hay! ang banyo!isang malaking EWWW!!! tulad ng nakagawian ng ate ko eh iniiwan lang nya yung hinubad nya dun. keber na may kasama syang hindi nya kamag-anak sa bahay!
oh well... some things never change. my sister is too set in her ways to EVER change them. she will never listen to my mom or to me or my dad. she will never learn to accept her mistakes but would rather blame it on others. but i'm happy that she's trying to stand up on her own and provide for her children. maybe i shouldn't be too quick in my judgment. maybe she will change for the better.
i hope so. for my darling nieces' and nephew's sake. i hope so.
but i won't hold my breath...
PERO ang dumi ng bahay. as in! nagkalat ang mga gamit ng kapatid ko sa sala. yung mga pinaglutuan nya ng tinda nya eh umaabot hanggang sa may hagdanan at banyo namin. hay! ang banyo!isang malaking EWWW!!! tulad ng nakagawian ng ate ko eh iniiwan lang nya yung hinubad nya dun. keber na may kasama syang hindi nya kamag-anak sa bahay!
oh well... some things never change. my sister is too set in her ways to EVER change them. she will never listen to my mom or to me or my dad. she will never learn to accept her mistakes but would rather blame it on others. but i'm happy that she's trying to stand up on her own and provide for her children. maybe i shouldn't be too quick in my judgment. maybe she will change for the better.
i hope so. for my darling nieces' and nephew's sake. i hope so.
but i won't hold my breath...
i have finally gotten my wish. i am no longer living all by myself in my parent's too-big-for-one-person house. i now have keith with me and my good friend geisha as a roomie. it's all a dream come true...*sigh*
until my sister came from bacolod last week.
STRESS!!!!!!!!!!
grabeh... as in!!! mahal ko ang kapatid ko pero mas mahal ko sya pag malayo sya sa kin. we've never been that close to begin with. we have an eight-year gap. i am the sibling she didn't want to have. she regards me as "the favored one". she has this little habits that i just can't tolerate. for me to expect the 2 of us to live in harmony is preposterous.
pero ano pa nga ba magagawa ko? andito na sya eh. she was all quiet and i think, depressed, over the recent break-up she had with her husband. this is not the first time this happened. but i think this may be the last. the husband has packed up and left without a word to her about what they're gonna do with the kids. both of them assumed, i suppose, that my mom and dad are gonna live forever and provide for their children. *sigh*
STRESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so ngayon, unti-unti nyang ibinebenta ang mga gamit na ipinundar nya sa tulong ng perang padala ng asawa nya nung nasa Saudi Arabia pa ito. ok fine. gamit naman nila yon. pero pareho kaming nanghihinayang ni keith. mahirap magpundar ng gamit sa panahon ngayon. tapos ganun-ganun lang ibebenta... tsk!tsk!tsk! at sabi ng ate ko gusto daw nyang magmini-business sa baranggay namin. at wala na rin syang balak balikan ang mga anak nya sa bacolod. kaya naman daw alagaan ng nanay ko yung mga anak nya eh. 60 mahigit na nanay ko... pag-aalagain nya ng apat na bata?!?
STRESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
until my sister came from bacolod last week.
STRESS!!!!!!!!!!
grabeh... as in!!! mahal ko ang kapatid ko pero mas mahal ko sya pag malayo sya sa kin. we've never been that close to begin with. we have an eight-year gap. i am the sibling she didn't want to have. she regards me as "the favored one". she has this little habits that i just can't tolerate. for me to expect the 2 of us to live in harmony is preposterous.
pero ano pa nga ba magagawa ko? andito na sya eh. she was all quiet and i think, depressed, over the recent break-up she had with her husband. this is not the first time this happened. but i think this may be the last. the husband has packed up and left without a word to her about what they're gonna do with the kids. both of them assumed, i suppose, that my mom and dad are gonna live forever and provide for their children. *sigh*
STRESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so ngayon, unti-unti nyang ibinebenta ang mga gamit na ipinundar nya sa tulong ng perang padala ng asawa nya nung nasa Saudi Arabia pa ito. ok fine. gamit naman nila yon. pero pareho kaming nanghihinayang ni keith. mahirap magpundar ng gamit sa panahon ngayon. tapos ganun-ganun lang ibebenta... tsk!tsk!tsk! at sabi ng ate ko gusto daw nyang magmini-business sa baranggay namin. at wala na rin syang balak balikan ang mga anak nya sa bacolod. kaya naman daw alagaan ng nanay ko yung mga anak nya eh. 60 mahigit na nanay ko... pag-aalagain nya ng apat na bata?!?
STRESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
new template?
hay!!! hindi ko na lang talaga alam ang gagawin ko...
may bago na kong template... promise! meron na talaga. hindi ko lang matapos-tapos. grrr...
i am once again at the end of my tether. pray for me...
may bago na kong template... promise! meron na talaga. hindi ko lang matapos-tapos. grrr...
i am once again at the end of my tether. pray for me...
peach roses
second year anniversary namin ni keith kahapon...
grabe... dalawang taon na pala kaming naglolokohan... charing! heeheheheh... sino nga ba ang mag-aakala na aabot kami ng ganito katagal?! kahit ako eh nag-alangan din. i still have doubts if he's actually the one for me or not. pero tingin ko sya na talaga eh. as in!
nagkita kami kahapon. syempre. anniv eh. kumain kami sa subway sa may shangri-la. tuwang-tuwa ako kasi feeling beauty queen ako habang hawak-hawak ko yung bigay nya sa king roses. 3 peach roses. peach para naman daw maiba. ang sweet noh?!? i was so touched by his gesture. kasi starting pa lang sa trabaho ang bf ko eh... so syempre, ala pang pera. tilad ng dati, mega-tipid na naman siya mabilhan lang ako ng "luho" ko. ehehhehe...
kumpleto na sana katuwaan ko kung hindi lang nya sinabi sa kin na ninakaw lang nya yung roses...
gusto ko na talaga umiyak habang palakad kami pabalik sa opisina. hindi ko na nga hinawakan yung bulaklak eh. di bale nang walang roses o kung wala syang gift sa kin. wag lang sya magnakaw! sus! di ko alam kung matutuwa ako sa kanya o ihahampas ko sa kanya yung roses eh. at gusto nya pa dalhin ko sa office at ipagyabang yung nakaw nya na roses!eeewwww... no way!
paakyat na ako sa office nung sinabi nya sa kin :"Hoy gaga kunin mo na 'to! mahal din ang bili ko dyan sa flower shop!"
grrr!!!...
grabe... dalawang taon na pala kaming naglolokohan... charing! heeheheheh... sino nga ba ang mag-aakala na aabot kami ng ganito katagal?! kahit ako eh nag-alangan din. i still have doubts if he's actually the one for me or not. pero tingin ko sya na talaga eh. as in!
nagkita kami kahapon. syempre. anniv eh. kumain kami sa subway sa may shangri-la. tuwang-tuwa ako kasi feeling beauty queen ako habang hawak-hawak ko yung bigay nya sa king roses. 3 peach roses. peach para naman daw maiba. ang sweet noh?!? i was so touched by his gesture. kasi starting pa lang sa trabaho ang bf ko eh... so syempre, ala pang pera. tilad ng dati, mega-tipid na naman siya mabilhan lang ako ng "luho" ko. ehehhehe...
kumpleto na sana katuwaan ko kung hindi lang nya sinabi sa kin na ninakaw lang nya yung roses...
gusto ko na talaga umiyak habang palakad kami pabalik sa opisina. hindi ko na nga hinawakan yung bulaklak eh. di bale nang walang roses o kung wala syang gift sa kin. wag lang sya magnakaw! sus! di ko alam kung matutuwa ako sa kanya o ihahampas ko sa kanya yung roses eh. at gusto nya pa dalhin ko sa office at ipagyabang yung nakaw nya na roses!eeewwww... no way!
paakyat na ako sa office nung sinabi nya sa kin :"Hoy gaga kunin mo na 'to! mahal din ang bili ko dyan sa flower shop!"
grrr!!!...
it's been a hell of a month!
yep... been thru so much i didn't even have time to blog. no time to even change my layout. grrr... *sigh* it's one of the perils of living on your own. you don't have much time for anything. your days are filled with going to and from work , paying your bills, cleaning the house, doing your laundry... on top of that i also have to be loving girlfriend, caring friend, and concerned daughter...
i feel ready to replace wonderwoman.
yep... been thru so much i didn't even have time to blog. no time to even change my layout. grrr... *sigh* it's one of the perils of living on your own. you don't have much time for anything. your days are filled with going to and from work , paying your bills, cleaning the house, doing your laundry... on top of that i also have to be loving girlfriend, caring friend, and concerned daughter...
i feel ready to replace wonderwoman.
too close for comfort?
some days i feel all alone. most days, i feel like keith is all i have. it is both funny and sad to note that it is a matter of fact. keith is all i have. or is it just all me?
he is my friend, my boyfriend, my lover, my houseboy, my cook,my electrician, my adviser, my shock absorber... the list is getting longer everyday. it's frightening because it only goes to show that i,little ms.independent is fast becoming damsel in distress.
sometimes, i can't help but wonder if it is him i miss or something else. i love him... yeah... no doubt about that. but i don't think it's normal to miss someone 24/7. especially if that someone has been your boyfriend for 2 years now... today i resolve to stop spending the weekends over at his place. i know i made this vow a couple of months ago and failed miserably. the awful truth is that i don't have any place to spend the weekends in but his place. and we go back to the funny and sad piece of fact... keith is all i have.
he is my friend, my boyfriend, my lover, my houseboy, my cook,my electrician, my adviser, my shock absorber... the list is getting longer everyday. it's frightening because it only goes to show that i,little ms.independent is fast becoming damsel in distress.
sometimes, i can't help but wonder if it is him i miss or something else. i love him... yeah... no doubt about that. but i don't think it's normal to miss someone 24/7. especially if that someone has been your boyfriend for 2 years now... today i resolve to stop spending the weekends over at his place. i know i made this vow a couple of months ago and failed miserably. the awful truth is that i don't have any place to spend the weekends in but his place. and we go back to the funny and sad piece of fact... keith is all i have.
back in the city
we are finally back in manila. boy! am i just so glad i have my feet settled on land. i had recurring visions of titanic while we were on open sea. it was the worst ride i ever had in a ship. it was the pits. we were stuck in the docks for a whole night because of a brewing storm. we sailed out yesterday morning and i thought we would be up for a leisurely trip back to the city. i was dead wrong.
anyway, it's been a hectic first day back in "civilization".ha-ha! we were greeted with the news that keith's brother is now the proud father of a bouncing baby girl. we hurried over to the hospital to see their little bundle of joy. i can't help but feel a little envious. not that i want to have a kid of my own already but i feel envious about them having their own baby and them living together 24/7 and being married and all. i don't know... this must be a "ship-lag" or something...
keith is fussing like crazy over the baby. hmmm... i wonder if he wants to have a baby of his won now...hmmm
anyway, it's been a hectic first day back in "civilization".ha-ha! we were greeted with the news that keith's brother is now the proud father of a bouncing baby girl. we hurried over to the hospital to see their little bundle of joy. i can't help but feel a little envious. not that i want to have a kid of my own already but i feel envious about them having their own baby and them living together 24/7 and being married and all. i don't know... this must be a "ship-lag" or something...
keith is fussing like crazy over the baby. hmmm... i wonder if he wants to have a baby of his won now...hmmm
back to the city
we went swimming on a white sand beach today. despite the fact that my dad can't come because he had to tend to the little piggery he and my mom have got going and my sister and niece, sam, pulling that little beach drama everybody had fun. most especially keith and i. we rarely get to swim in beaches so this was pure pleasure.nice!
i was happy to see my mom and my sister's brood enjoying themselves. it warms my heart to see them all smiling and happy. i wish it would always be this way for them but that would just not be possible. happiness is treasured and sought after because of its rarity. if it comes our way all too often, we will never appreciate its presence. so i suppose, this is all for the best.
tomorrow, keith and i will leave for manila. a part of me suddenly just don't want to go. we have to leave early in the morning and here i am... typing away in front of the computer. i can't sleep. i want to stay here and look after my parents and my nieces and nephews. my parents are getting older and i feel that they should start taking it a little easy. having my sister and her kids live with them isn't helping. *sigh* i love them all so much, even my trouble-making sister. if it's only possible to take care of them and still live my own life...
tomorrow, keith and i will leave for manila. i'll kiss and tightly hug each of my adorable nieces and nephews. i'll kiss my mom and my dad and hug my sister and her husband. they will wave goodbye at me from the gate along with a piece of my heart...
i was happy to see my mom and my sister's brood enjoying themselves. it warms my heart to see them all smiling and happy. i wish it would always be this way for them but that would just not be possible. happiness is treasured and sought after because of its rarity. if it comes our way all too often, we will never appreciate its presence. so i suppose, this is all for the best.
tomorrow, keith and i will leave for manila. a part of me suddenly just don't want to go. we have to leave early in the morning and here i am... typing away in front of the computer. i can't sleep. i want to stay here and look after my parents and my nieces and nephews. my parents are getting older and i feel that they should start taking it a little easy. having my sister and her kids live with them isn't helping. *sigh* i love them all so much, even my trouble-making sister. if it's only possible to take care of them and still live my own life...
tomorrow, keith and i will leave for manila. i'll kiss and tightly hug each of my adorable nieces and nephews. i'll kiss my mom and my dad and hug my sister and her husband. they will wave goodbye at me from the gate along with a piece of my heart...
we went up a mountain today. it was the mountain that is right in front of my mom's house. you would think that since the mountain is looming in front of us everyday, it would be close and eary enough to climb. wrong!
it took as an hour to get to the top and another hour and a half to get down. it's actually a little easier to climb because there are little steps carved on its sides now. the first time i climbed it, which was what? i guess some 6 or 8 years ago, the men would throw down a rope for the ladies to use. the mountain was steep and slippery. it still is but thanks to well-trodden path by the locals, there was no need for the rope.
ok... since i can't stand to see my mom in tears off we went to her little sister's place. it was a grueling 4 hours travel over rough, dry roads. when we got there, i said hello to everyone and kissed and hugged everyone. i behaved like the good little girl my mom raised me to be. i was a bit surprised when both my biological parents did not recognize me. my mom never failed to show them pictures of me when i was growing up. i even heard that they hung my graduation picture in their living room. that must have been fabrication because my face has not changed much over the years and they can't recognize me? don't they see the family resemblance?
oh well... my mom and her sister who happens to be my biological mom finally cried and hugged each other. they were insisting on us spending a night there but i don't feel like i belong there. i felt that i would only hurt them if i stay there longer. my biological family would only see how different i am from them. so we said our goodbyes and spent another gureling 2 hour ride on a motorbike. yep. keith, my mom, me and my younger brother all on one motorbike driving thru rough terrain on a starless night.
this has been a day that i would as soon likely forget.
it took as an hour to get to the top and another hour and a half to get down. it's actually a little easier to climb because there are little steps carved on its sides now. the first time i climbed it, which was what? i guess some 6 or 8 years ago, the men would throw down a rope for the ladies to use. the mountain was steep and slippery. it still is but thanks to well-trodden path by the locals, there was no need for the rope.
ok... since i can't stand to see my mom in tears off we went to her little sister's place. it was a grueling 4 hours travel over rough, dry roads. when we got there, i said hello to everyone and kissed and hugged everyone. i behaved like the good little girl my mom raised me to be. i was a bit surprised when both my biological parents did not recognize me. my mom never failed to show them pictures of me when i was growing up. i even heard that they hung my graduation picture in their living room. that must have been fabrication because my face has not changed much over the years and they can't recognize me? don't they see the family resemblance?
oh well... my mom and her sister who happens to be my biological mom finally cried and hugged each other. they were insisting on us spending a night there but i don't feel like i belong there. i felt that i would only hurt them if i stay there longer. my biological family would only see how different i am from them. so we said our goodbyes and spent another gureling 2 hour ride on a motorbike. yep. keith, my mom, me and my younger brother all on one motorbike driving thru rough terrain on a starless night.
this has been a day that i would as soon likely forget.
my mother finally had the long overdue house blessing. the house looked great. the food was perfect. Both my parents are happy and at peace. i know it sounds weird but this is the first time i ever saw my mom and dad look so "settled in". when they were living in the city, they've always talked about getting away from the all the family bickering and squabbles. now they have finally did got away from it all.
another worry off my list.
another worry off my list.
clean house
my 4th day on leave. my 3rd day here at my parent's semi-grand house.
everybody's all preparing for the big event on wednesday. the long awaited house blessing is finally going to happen. keith and i decided to clean the house and rearrange the furniture. the house badly needed it. since my parents are into hog-raising, they no longer can't be bothered to clean up the place. besides, with 4 kids running around... why bother?
my mother seems to like keith enough. she likes him enough to talk about weddings. and for some reason, keith is only too happy to oblige her. we were folding clothes on the second floor sitting area when she went up and asked if we have enough time to pull this event off. keith assured her that there is enough time to get everything done. my mom, out of the blue, said to me in a tearful voice:" i am happy to see you and keith. i know that if you settle down with him, you will be in good hands. "
oh mom! i just so love you... and you just have no idea how good keith's hands are.*wink*
everybody's all preparing for the big event on wednesday. the long awaited house blessing is finally going to happen. keith and i decided to clean the house and rearrange the furniture. the house badly needed it. since my parents are into hog-raising, they no longer can't be bothered to clean up the place. besides, with 4 kids running around... why bother?
my mother seems to like keith enough. she likes him enough to talk about weddings. and for some reason, keith is only too happy to oblige her. we were folding clothes on the second floor sitting area when she went up and asked if we have enough time to pull this event off. keith assured her that there is enough time to get everything done. my mom, out of the blue, said to me in a tearful voice:" i am happy to see you and keith. i know that if you settle down with him, you will be in good hands. "
oh mom! i just so love you... and you just have no idea how good keith's hands are.*wink*
home sweet home
after a long and winding trip, we finally docked in bacolod. our arrival was a few hours delayed due to a storm and my sister drove me nuts. i wonder if there ever will be a time when we stop rubbing each other the wrong way. *sigh*
to cut a long story short, we got to my mom and dad's little farm. i wish i could also have cut the trip short the same way i did in the re-telling of my great adventure, but sadly, keith and i had to endure 4 hours of travel on smooth, rocky, semi-rocky roads of negros occidental. i was surprised at how big my mom's house was. it used to be a small, humble nipa hut. it is now a 3 bedroom, 2-storey concrete abode. i was also taken aback at how big my nieces and nephews have grown. the youngest, jordan, has gone from chubby to fat. i have a bad feeling the kid is overweight but there is simply nothing my mom could do about that. jordan throws a fit each time they tell him to lessen his food intake. elleine and jessamyn are turning to be 2 pretty sisters. they both have grown tall. jessamyn is almost as tall as i am. and she is only an incoming 6th grader! carlo, i am happy to note, has become more behaved and responsible. oh my darling little babies! they are all growing so fast...
my mom has gotten thin. the same goes for dad. they have aged a lot since the last time i saw them. well, with my sister living with them that is no surprise. but i sensed that despite the day-to-day problems and obstacles, they are happy. when all is said and done, the have the peace of mind here that they do not have in our place in manila. my grandfather, mom's dad, is still strong and goes about his daily routine without missing a beat. he is now 87 and counting...
i took in a deep breath of the sweet-smelling air. it feels great to be home.
to cut a long story short, we got to my mom and dad's little farm. i wish i could also have cut the trip short the same way i did in the re-telling of my great adventure, but sadly, keith and i had to endure 4 hours of travel on smooth, rocky, semi-rocky roads of negros occidental. i was surprised at how big my mom's house was. it used to be a small, humble nipa hut. it is now a 3 bedroom, 2-storey concrete abode. i was also taken aback at how big my nieces and nephews have grown. the youngest, jordan, has gone from chubby to fat. i have a bad feeling the kid is overweight but there is simply nothing my mom could do about that. jordan throws a fit each time they tell him to lessen his food intake. elleine and jessamyn are turning to be 2 pretty sisters. they both have grown tall. jessamyn is almost as tall as i am. and she is only an incoming 6th grader! carlo, i am happy to note, has become more behaved and responsible. oh my darling little babies! they are all growing so fast...
my mom has gotten thin. the same goes for dad. they have aged a lot since the last time i saw them. well, with my sister living with them that is no surprise. but i sensed that despite the day-to-day problems and obstacles, they are happy. when all is said and done, the have the peace of mind here that they do not have in our place in manila. my grandfather, mom's dad, is still strong and goes about his daily routine without missing a beat. he is now 87 and counting...
i took in a deep breath of the sweet-smelling air. it feels great to be home.
sailing away
day two of my so-called vacation leave and i am still soooooooo stressed out. i already had a facial, shopped, and saw Van Helsing with keith last night. but still, i am all tense and jittery. i am thinking of just calling the whole thing off and stay at home for the whole week or so.
i got out of the office early morning yesterday and immediately went hunting for the stuff my mom told me to bring. i was so tired running around, getting this and that for my family that i promptly fell asleep when i got home at noon. keith then came over and we went to the mall. i had my much-needed facial(my face was plain breaking out!!). then we saw the special effects-ridden movie Van Helsing. it was good, yeah. but forgettable. i was entertained. uh-huh. but there is this hole in the plot and too many fantastic scenes that without a doubt, van helsing existed only in a person's imagination.
so we went home after the late movie. i checked and made sure i had everything i need for the trip. We left for the pier at 7am in the morning. i went all over the house, making sure everything is unplugged. i made sure the door is locked twice. talk about paranoia. we got to the pier and sat for about an hour and a half when the ship started boarding. there was chaos all around us. people got up and all headed towards the boarding area as if the ship is going to sail away without them. the man seated behind us got up and bent over to get his suitcase. keith and i could hardly care but man was wearing this huge knapsack on his back. he hit keith on the head when he bent over to get his suitcase. keith let out a loud expletive and turned to give the guy a good glare. this cracked me up. while the two of them were busy thinking about having a fight there and then, i was laughing my head off.
this trip may prove to be the most tressful i have ever had, but it sure is gonna be one hell of a ride...
i got out of the office early morning yesterday and immediately went hunting for the stuff my mom told me to bring. i was so tired running around, getting this and that for my family that i promptly fell asleep when i got home at noon. keith then came over and we went to the mall. i had my much-needed facial(my face was plain breaking out!!). then we saw the special effects-ridden movie Van Helsing. it was good, yeah. but forgettable. i was entertained. uh-huh. but there is this hole in the plot and too many fantastic scenes that without a doubt, van helsing existed only in a person's imagination.
so we went home after the late movie. i checked and made sure i had everything i need for the trip. We left for the pier at 7am in the morning. i went all over the house, making sure everything is unplugged. i made sure the door is locked twice. talk about paranoia. we got to the pier and sat for about an hour and a half when the ship started boarding. there was chaos all around us. people got up and all headed towards the boarding area as if the ship is going to sail away without them. the man seated behind us got up and bent over to get his suitcase. keith and i could hardly care but man was wearing this huge knapsack on his back. he hit keith on the head when he bent over to get his suitcase. keith let out a loud expletive and turned to give the guy a good glare. this cracked me up. while the two of them were busy thinking about having a fight there and then, i was laughing my head off.
this trip may prove to be the most tressful i have ever had, but it sure is gonna be one hell of a ride...
the miracle i was hoping for came. my vacation leave was approved.
now i feel so rotten because i've been a very bad girl. well... maybe not that bad. i suppose bad habits really do die hard. i've been late 5 times for the last 2 and a half weeks which warrants a memo as per company policy. and i am getting a memo. if not now, then soon. i guess, this is a little wake up call for me. i'm going downhill in my attendance again and that is not the way to go. i have big plans for myself this year and getting a memo anytime soon is a big disappointment for me. but i have no one to blame but my lazy ass. so there!
i was screaming mad at keith a few hours ago. i might have been a little cruel to him, after all, he is still suffering from the blow of not making it to the board passer's list but i am just so irritated with his indecisiveness. he can't give me a straight answer each time i ask him if he'll be coming with me to bacolod to see my family or not. he has a couple of job prospects lined up right now. This is very good for him because between now and the next board exam in november, he wants to make some moolah to support himself. there's nothing wrong with that really but we had this trip planned months ago. i feel like he wants to back out but just can't tell me how. well i just wish he would tell it to me straight. i am buying the tickets tomorrow and i find it a complete waste of time to buy tickets for him and request for it to be refunded later on when he is unable to go because he's got a job already. i just wish to god he would make up his mind and end my misery. i do hope he goes with me but if he can't there's nothing i can do about it. i'll just go as i planned early this year and try not to be miserable during my entire vacation.
so my miracle did come. i do hope god will send me another one real soon.
now i feel so rotten because i've been a very bad girl. well... maybe not that bad. i suppose bad habits really do die hard. i've been late 5 times for the last 2 and a half weeks which warrants a memo as per company policy. and i am getting a memo. if not now, then soon. i guess, this is a little wake up call for me. i'm going downhill in my attendance again and that is not the way to go. i have big plans for myself this year and getting a memo anytime soon is a big disappointment for me. but i have no one to blame but my lazy ass. so there!
i was screaming mad at keith a few hours ago. i might have been a little cruel to him, after all, he is still suffering from the blow of not making it to the board passer's list but i am just so irritated with his indecisiveness. he can't give me a straight answer each time i ask him if he'll be coming with me to bacolod to see my family or not. he has a couple of job prospects lined up right now. This is very good for him because between now and the next board exam in november, he wants to make some moolah to support himself. there's nothing wrong with that really but we had this trip planned months ago. i feel like he wants to back out but just can't tell me how. well i just wish he would tell it to me straight. i am buying the tickets tomorrow and i find it a complete waste of time to buy tickets for him and request for it to be refunded later on when he is unable to go because he's got a job already. i just wish to god he would make up his mind and end my misery. i do hope he goes with me but if he can't there's nothing i can do about it. i'll just go as i planned early this year and try not to be miserable during my entire vacation.
so my miracle did come. i do hope god will send me another one real soon.
i went to the bank yesterday to encash a check. the bank required 3 IDs and i only had two on me when i got there so i went back to my place. i went upstairs, took out my big envelope of "important stuff" and rummaged for my new NBI clearance. i found it... right next to nhell's picture.
i took out the picture and stared at nhell's face long and hard. just like before, each time i came across something that reminded me of him - a picture, a place, a song - a thousand what if's and what could have been's floated thru my head. we could have made it. we could have worked it out. he's a good guy... he really is. he sings real well too. he's also one hell of a great kisser. yeah. no doubt about it. i'm no kiss and tell but i just have to say, this guy's real good at locking lips with a girl. he made me want him real bad.
but keith, although not as good as nhell in the smooching department, far exceeds him in making someone want something. the first time we ever kissed, i not only wanted keith real bad... keith made me want him with me for life.
having come to that conclusion, i sighed. i tore up all of nhell's photos into little bits and threw them in the trash can. no more reminiscing. no more thinking of what might have been and what could have been. my sould has found what it was looking for.
i took out the picture and stared at nhell's face long and hard. just like before, each time i came across something that reminded me of him - a picture, a place, a song - a thousand what if's and what could have been's floated thru my head. we could have made it. we could have worked it out. he's a good guy... he really is. he sings real well too. he's also one hell of a great kisser. yeah. no doubt about it. i'm no kiss and tell but i just have to say, this guy's real good at locking lips with a girl. he made me want him real bad.
but keith, although not as good as nhell in the smooching department, far exceeds him in making someone want something. the first time we ever kissed, i not only wanted keith real bad... keith made me want him with me for life.
having come to that conclusion, i sighed. i tore up all of nhell's photos into little bits and threw them in the trash can. no more reminiscing. no more thinking of what might have been and what could have been. my sould has found what it was looking for.
so it's like this...
you applied your vacation leave 3 months before you take off to the province to see your mom who you haven't seen for four years. you got a fairly good raise in your pay and your salary loan was recently approved. so you have all the moolah saved up for the trip and you're ready to buy your tickets and all. your sked's all set up for the coming month. everything's been set up real nice and all you're waiting for is approval from the big bosses.
then you accumulate more than the allowed number of lates per month. you either will get a verbal warning, a memo, or a lot worse than that... your leave will not be approved after all.
well... shit happens.
i've always believed that little miracles happen everyday. i am keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that a miracle will come my way soon.
you applied your vacation leave 3 months before you take off to the province to see your mom who you haven't seen for four years. you got a fairly good raise in your pay and your salary loan was recently approved. so you have all the moolah saved up for the trip and you're ready to buy your tickets and all. your sked's all set up for the coming month. everything's been set up real nice and all you're waiting for is approval from the big bosses.
then you accumulate more than the allowed number of lates per month. you either will get a verbal warning, a memo, or a lot worse than that... your leave will not be approved after all.
well... shit happens.
i've always believed that little miracles happen everyday. i am keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that a miracle will come my way soon.
keith is going to start his 2-day engineering licensure exams tomorrow. i feel more anxious and nervous than he is. i kept asking him during the weekend if he's feeling nervous or excited. he just shrugged each time and said he can't wait to get it all over with. he pored over 5 years worth of notes and lectures for the past 6 months in preparation for this major event. and now he can't wait to go thru it all and "empty his memory bin" as he would like to put it.
i can't wait for the exams to be over. i can't wait to see the results. i don't think i'll be able to truly relax until i see keith's name on the board passer's list. argghhh!!!
i can't wait for the exams to be over. i can't wait to see the results. i don't think i'll be able to truly relax until i see keith's name on the board passer's list. argghhh!!!
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