i don't feel like doing anything today. i don't want to work. i don't want to read. i don't want to watch anything. i just want to sit and stare and think. my head is filled with thoughts of what i want to do, what i need to do, what i can do and what i can't. i feel like it's about ready to explode. my head is tired and all i want to do today is to sit and stare and listen to my heart.

i want to stay still and hear my heart beat. i want to listen to its thoughts and what it's trying to say. i want to know if it's still happy. if it's as tired beating as my mind is tired of thinking.

there are so many things i want done but i can't seem to find the energy or dedication to finish them. all my goals seem to have gone farther from me instead of closer. i could do what i want but what i truly long for i can't even begin to start.

sad thoughts. my head and my heart, filled with sad thoughts and unfulfilled longings. all sad thoughts. no wonder i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to do anything anymore.

i am stuck once again with no luck at finding the back door.