the problem with having a blog is that you are putting your life in the spotlight. you are making known to everybody what's going on with your life, how you're coping with things, what your plans are, what you're coming to grips with. you tell the readers of your online diary what your thoughts are about things, about what you do everyday and why you do them. but a person can only explain so much. when you have a blog, you put yourself under a microscope and as you and your readers peer thru the lens and examine your totality and individuality... well, you could only hope that they see you in a good light.


i am surprised that the subject of my impending departure was brought up during a one-on-one session with my team lead. news certainly has a way of going around in an office. not even a handful of people know that i plan to leave. i don't even have my mind made up if i will leave. until i come to a decision, everybody can just hold their breaths and their comments. nothing is set in stone.
i've sent my resume to my former account manager.


i've taken the leap and i could only hope that i would land in secure gound. i told bam that there is no guarantee that i'd be accepted for the job so maybe all this talk is for nothing. but then again, i know i'm good. (hehehheehehe...*wink*). i may not have been promoted at my current work but i've never failed to impress people during interview. so maybe... maybe i'll make it and then again, maybe i won't.


i don't ask for signs. but if i ace the interview and offered the job... well, maybe...
i was offered a job today by my former account manager.


the salary is higher of course with added perks like access to an exclusive fitness club and shuttle service. what caught my attention is the fact that if i do try out for this new company and get accepted, i will be part of their pioneer team. this would mean that after a couple of months, when the company has added on more reps and have expanded, i would be first in line for a higher position.


to say i was tempted is putting it mildly.


what made me think twice is the location the new company is building on. it's miles away from where i live and the journey would be tedious to say the least. also, it's a new company and there is no guarantee that their foundation is strong enough to ensure success. but the promise of a higher position is pulling on me real strong...


ah! choices, choices! i am not sure if i'm ready to take this leap. i'm not sure if i'm prepared to leave my comfort zone and throw away everything i've worked for in my current company in the wind.i am feeling that this new endeavor might not be worth taking the risk...ah!choices, choices...

ready for the good times

the start of the year, though at first thrilling and exciting, is slowly turning in a very ugly head. my sister's husband got laid off, meaning my heroic mom will come in and save them from economic tragedy. i, on the other hand, is up to my neck in bills. yes. bills, bils, bills! my world is becoming a routine of receiving bills and paying bills. another sore spot is work. i am slowly losing enthusiasm for it. i feel that the job i have is not going to take me anywhere nor will it prove itself to be a stable source of income.


but i am not gonna argue nor will i lose hope. i still have one or two blessings i am happy to count everyday. i still have a roof above my head. i am alive, breathing, with no missing limbs or scarred skin. i still have my friends. i love my family and they love me. i am able to play sims when i'm at the office. i love keith and he loves me. yah... i have keith.


so let's get it on!


Ready for the Good Times
-Shakira-


I don't wanna clear the cobwebs from my head Time will bring them back I bet
So if you hear me say that I believe in love Don't make me feel ashamed
I used to sing the saddest songs And while in the meantime roaches used to climb my Door
Falling back down to the floor I used to read survival guides When my world was full of seven legged cats
But here I am with eight more lives


I'm ready for the good times
I'm ready for the good times
Ready to get it on
I'm ready for the good times
I'm ready for the good times
Now that I'm not alone
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
You know It
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
You better not
Ignore it


I don't wanna look at fashion magazines While someone does my nails
Sitting here watching other people live Frozen by the fear to fail
Cause, everyday there's a war to fight And if I win or lose never mind
As long as you're my shelter every night I used to cry against a wall
But now I've got a shoulder that I can lean on Swear to me you won't be gone


I'm ready for the good times
I'm ready for the good times
Ready to get it on


I'm ready for the good times
I'm ready for the good times
Now that I'm not alone


i have finally gotten my blouse back.


after going from one mall to the other, keith and i were finally able to get the same one he bought me for christmas. we took it to the laundromat and they reimbursed the money we paid for it. the new blouse does not fit quite like the old one did. *sigh*. some things just can't be replaced or reimbursed.


on a happy note, i was finally able to install the superstar expansion pack for the sims. it's currently my "hot property" for the moment. so gotta say bye for now while i play around!*wink*

laundry service gone wrong

i am in a hellish mood tonight.


i just finished speaking with the manager of the laundromat who did my laundry this weekend. to say that i am annoyed is an understatement. i am in a killing rage. the goddamned establishment lost the blouse keith gave to me for christmas. hear me roooaaar!!!!


the frigging manager didn't even know that i had been complaining all over the laundromat during the weekend. DUH! some manager. no wonder one of her washers lost my blouse. or maybe they didn't lose it. maybe one of her dumb employees took off with it seeing that it was new. damn! i was confident that everything was being handled professionally. i was even telling keith's dad a few days ago how convenient it is to just take your dirty laundry and have it washed by professional cleaners. well i guess i'm dead wrong on that score.


they told me that i could buy any blouse i like to replace the one they say i insist as missing (grrrr... @#%$&@!) and would reimburse me for the fee. they said that they are doing this so they wouldn't lose a customer. hello!!! tough luck! after all this brouhaha they won't ever see my face again. i was so frustrated last saturday when i first found out the blouse was missing that burst into tears. i have never imagined that something convenient could turn out to be one of the most harrowing experiences of your life.
sims is becoming my favorite game after diablo 1 and 2. i know, i know... these are all passé what with all the million games we have now. but i just so love how you can create a person, model it after you or whoever it is you want to be and set it out on a reality-based game. and i so love the furnitures and wallpapers and all the other cool stuff you could add to create the house of your dreams...


i find it all amazing, especially the part where you have to make friends and maintain them or else you get depressed. when you neglect to speak with a sim you have already been friends with you get a message saying something like " you have lost a family friend. friends are like plants that you need to water everyday or else they wither. a call might help renew the relationship."


when i first saw that message it struck a chord in me. it sounds kinda stupid for you to let a game get to you like that. i guess it's because i don't have much friends right now. when i say friend, i mean those that know me and those that i have been able to count on throughout my life. it seems i don't have much of them anymore. i have fallen out with the 2 good friends i had in college. well, we never had that much in common really but they were still great companions. then i had this "sort of" falling out with naomi and shalom, my two best friends in the whole wide world. i am missing nemo like hell but of course she's got a baby to look after and all.


i am happy to have made friends with angelo, bang-bang, and bam-bam but it's not just the same being apart from your original circle of friends. i am very grateful to have keith around yet still... you get the empty feeling from time to time.


the game is truly amazing. it shows you how real life can get. it isn't easy to win.

2004

another year... another beginning... another clean slate to write my whole life all over.


i am full of plans, which is a first since i usually drift along during the first month of the year... waiting for fate to take over and dictate my destiny. but this year, i am taking charge!


it's been a long time since i relished the thought of a new year looming ahead of me. i am thrilled at the thought of the coming days unfolding themselves before me. knowing that keith will be by my side the whole time adds more to the excitement. i can't wait...