1. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? naluis
2. WHAT KIND OF PANTS ARE YOU WEARING AND WHAT COLOR? i'm wearing a denim dress today :p
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? into deep
4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? sinigang na manok ( cooked by my beloved keith... ^_^ )
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? hello!!! purple of course
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? cold! brrr....
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? one of my company's endless clients
9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? the eyes
10. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? very much AWAKE... eheheheh
11. FAVORITE DRINKS? iced tea, coke, green mango shake
12. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINKS? tequila! ehehhehe... and mule, and vodka, and erg...
13. FAVORITE SPORTS? swimming, badminton... and i looove to watch synchronized swimming
14. HAIR COLOR? black... but i'm gonna have it changed to chestnut brown soon
15. EYE COLOR? brown
16. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no but if i did, the color would be amethyst *wink*
17. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? just 1.. and she's eight years older than i am
18. FAVORITE MONTH? november
19. FAVORITE FOOD? chicken and pasta!
20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
21. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? everyday is my favorite day...
22. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? depends on who i'm going to ask out
23. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIES BETTER? happy endings
24. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer!!!
25. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs AND kisses
26. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? chocolate
27. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? of course!
28. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? anne rice, like water for chocolate, house of fog... lots!
29. WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER (Also DESKTOP)? Kill Bill
30. FAVORITE BOARD GAMES? monopoly, scrabble
31. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? slept in keith's arms
32. FAVORITE SMELLS? keith's scent,the smell of the coming rain, the tangy scent of the sea
33. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? keith and my family
34. FAVORITE ALBUM TITLE? shades of purple by M2M... hahhahaaa...
35. EVER BREAK SOMEONE'S HEART? yes
36. DO YOU SMOKE? IF YES, PLEASE ELABORATE: yes... i just can't take the stress in my job
37. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST QUALITIES? vindictive bitch
38. WHAT ARE YOUR BEST QUALITIES? ask keith... ahahahhhaaa...
39. HAVE ANY NICKNAMES? ice, charlie, cecilia
40. WHEN DID YOU LAST "GET SOME?" sunday, the 28th
41. ARE YOU HAPPY? not happy... just content
42. ARE YOU HORNY? not right now... but give me 5 minutes on keith's lap and i will be... hehehehhehee...
the wedding
i swear that i have never been so orange in all my life.
it was the first time that i was a bridesmaid at a wedding. i was excited at first, but a week before the wedding, i lost all enthusiasm for it. that was about the time that i saw the gown the bridesmaids will be wearing. it was so orange... and i'm so brown... do you get the picture?
anyway, keith was able to convince (actually, it was more like forced) me to wear the gown. and surprise, surprise! i didn't die. and the people in our neighborhood were practically blinded by my beauty as i stormed out of our house to catch the cab that took us to the church. it was pretty much your typical wedding except of course i was a bridesmaid and keith was this gorgeous groomsman. he looked positively dashing in his barong tagalog.*sigh*. just looking at him made me wish that we were the ones getting married and not his brother.
sometimes, i get to thinking that my relationship with him will just go on and on for years until finally he ends up marrying someone else... i know, i know... my paranoia is getting all worked up again but hey... i'm only human. besides, it's an all too familiar sob story. but just like what i said to the newly-wed couple when i met them at the reception... i am wishing for the very best.
it was the first time that i was a bridesmaid at a wedding. i was excited at first, but a week before the wedding, i lost all enthusiasm for it. that was about the time that i saw the gown the bridesmaids will be wearing. it was so orange... and i'm so brown... do you get the picture?
anyway, keith was able to convince (actually, it was more like forced) me to wear the gown. and surprise, surprise! i didn't die. and the people in our neighborhood were practically blinded by my beauty as i stormed out of our house to catch the cab that took us to the church. it was pretty much your typical wedding except of course i was a bridesmaid and keith was this gorgeous groomsman. he looked positively dashing in his barong tagalog.*sigh*. just looking at him made me wish that we were the ones getting married and not his brother.
sometimes, i get to thinking that my relationship with him will just go on and on for years until finally he ends up marrying someone else... i know, i know... my paranoia is getting all worked up again but hey... i'm only human. besides, it's an all too familiar sob story. but just like what i said to the newly-wed couple when i met them at the reception... i am wishing for the very best.
just got out of the usual staff meeting that we have every wednesday... (yes, i am in the office right now. it is business as usual for us.> and i am very pleased with the news that was imparted to us working class people. first off, we don't have to go to work later tonight (yey!). second, i came eleventh in the overall performance rating for our team.
i am mightily pleased.
things are looking up...
i can't wait for the new year...
i am mightily pleased.
things are looking up...
i can't wait for the new year...
so what do you do when a close friend of yours who did something horrible to you sends you an SMS message saying something like " you don't need me anymore but i will be just right here if you will."? wouldn't that just freak you out?!
well, it definitely got me running around in circles for a time.
but having thought about it over the weekend, i have realized that what she meant was that i am no longer paying her any attention. i am no longer calling her or texting her asking her to spend some time with me. i guess she thought she no longer mattered.
on the contrary, i am missing my small tight-knit circle of friends. i am missing their company and oftentimes find myself thinking it would be fun to spend a day with them instead of with keith. but as soon as i thought about it, i immediately erase the notion. a lot of things has happened. a lot has changed. i feel that i have been hurt and disappointed by their antics so many times, i have just about given up on them. i am just so full of bitterness right now. this alone is reason enough to stay away from them. they have been witnesses to my sharp tongue. i don't want them to be the victims of it this time...
so what do you do when loved-ones fall short of your expectations? what do you do when they do something horrible to you? you accept them of course. and love them just the same, maybe even more. and i love them. they still matter.it's just that it's not all too easy for me to accept the fact that things aren't like before. i'm finding it difficult to know that they are not who i thought they were...
they used to be my refuge. yes, i was definitely shit without them. but now, day after day, with all of them so far away...i am finding refuge within myself.
well, it definitely got me running around in circles for a time.
but having thought about it over the weekend, i have realized that what she meant was that i am no longer paying her any attention. i am no longer calling her or texting her asking her to spend some time with me. i guess she thought she no longer mattered.
on the contrary, i am missing my small tight-knit circle of friends. i am missing their company and oftentimes find myself thinking it would be fun to spend a day with them instead of with keith. but as soon as i thought about it, i immediately erase the notion. a lot of things has happened. a lot has changed. i feel that i have been hurt and disappointed by their antics so many times, i have just about given up on them. i am just so full of bitterness right now. this alone is reason enough to stay away from them. they have been witnesses to my sharp tongue. i don't want them to be the victims of it this time...
so what do you do when loved-ones fall short of your expectations? what do you do when they do something horrible to you? you accept them of course. and love them just the same, maybe even more. and i love them. they still matter.it's just that it's not all too easy for me to accept the fact that things aren't like before. i'm finding it difficult to know that they are not who i thought they were...
they used to be my refuge. yes, i was definitely shit without them. but now, day after day, with all of them so far away...i am finding refuge within myself.
Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!
This may be hard for you to swallow, but you and your guy might not last
At least not forever. He's somewhere between Mr. Right... and Mr. Right Now
No doubt your guy is a great catch - and generally good to you
The odds are, however, that someone better is out there!
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the sad thing about all this is that i don't want someone better... i want him.
i am annoyed with keith.
i was hoping that he would be dropping by my place this afternoon. well, thank god i didn't hold my breath. 'cause if i did, i won't be here ranting and raving now.
i absolutely hate it when i get all my hopes up and then wham! it was all for nothing.
ok. so maybe it's not keith's fault. this is all my fault.
once again, i am falling down that pit of dependency. though i find it lonely to be on my own, well, i'd rather be alone than continually depend on someone. if there is any lesson i've learned in life, it is that no matter how many friends you have or how much your family loves you, it's not right to depend on any of them. because sooner or later, life is gonna screw you up. and you'll be as you always have been. alone.
so i don't like depending on people. then keith came along. and i got into this routine of relying on him. glorying on the idea that for the first time, i have someone i can lean on. but, as usual, life steps in and i realize that i am becoming more and more of a burden to him. he has his review and his family to think about. he doesn't need someone like me slowing him down.
i would leave him now if only i could. i would set him free from carrying me around if only i could be unselfish enugh. but i just can't.
and maybe that's why, once again, i am acting like a goddamned irrational bitch.
i miss him. i am just dying to see him. but silly me, i won't. i have got to get out of this pit. i have got to stand up and be whole... without him.
i was hoping that he would be dropping by my place this afternoon. well, thank god i didn't hold my breath. 'cause if i did, i won't be here ranting and raving now.
i absolutely hate it when i get all my hopes up and then wham! it was all for nothing.
ok. so maybe it's not keith's fault. this is all my fault.
once again, i am falling down that pit of dependency. though i find it lonely to be on my own, well, i'd rather be alone than continually depend on someone. if there is any lesson i've learned in life, it is that no matter how many friends you have or how much your family loves you, it's not right to depend on any of them. because sooner or later, life is gonna screw you up. and you'll be as you always have been. alone.
so i don't like depending on people. then keith came along. and i got into this routine of relying on him. glorying on the idea that for the first time, i have someone i can lean on. but, as usual, life steps in and i realize that i am becoming more and more of a burden to him. he has his review and his family to think about. he doesn't need someone like me slowing him down.
i would leave him now if only i could. i would set him free from carrying me around if only i could be unselfish enugh. but i just can't.
and maybe that's why, once again, i am acting like a goddamned irrational bitch.
i miss him. i am just dying to see him. but silly me, i won't. i have got to get out of this pit. i have got to stand up and be whole... without him.
i am feeling that something big is going to happen... something monumental...
no, i'm not going to get pregnant...
no, it's not the impending end of my current water crisis...
no, it's not winning in the lottery, thereby ending my destitution...
it's something to do with work...
i feel tension in the office, something is definitely going on...
i feel like if i'm not on my toes, i'd be getting the boot sooner than i thought.
i hope this is all just paranoia.
no, i'm not going to get pregnant...
no, it's not the impending end of my current water crisis...
no, it's not winning in the lottery, thereby ending my destitution...
it's something to do with work...
i feel tension in the office, something is definitely going on...
i feel like if i'm not on my toes, i'd be getting the boot sooner than i thought.
i hope this is all just paranoia.
i am at this very moment an aspiring webmistress...
yup... iam currently, with the help of my beloved officemate, angelo, attempting to create a website dedicated to my unpublished poems. yes, a great endeavor. i know... and i am just so excited!
wish me luck! hopefully, i will be able to commit enough patience to see this project to the finish. and hopefully, with the grace of god, i will be able to stop myself from laboring over the design and look of the webpage as i did with this blog. *wink*
yup... iam currently, with the help of my beloved officemate, angelo, attempting to create a website dedicated to my unpublished poems. yes, a great endeavor. i know... and i am just so excited!
wish me luck! hopefully, i will be able to commit enough patience to see this project to the finish. and hopefully, with the grace of god, i will be able to stop myself from laboring over the design and look of the webpage as i did with this blog. *wink*
my roomie and dear friend geisha's dad passed away yesterday. and i don't kow if getting the following email from a friend of mine is fate or coincidental. at first it got me a little spooked... then it made me *almost* cry. read on...
Nagising na lang ako isang umaga, naramdaman ko parang may kulang.Kumain ako ng almusal, nakausap ko na lahat ng tao sa bahay, pero bakit ganito, parang ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Pumasok ako sa school. Nag-iisip pa rin. Muntik na nga ako matisod sa kakaisip lang nito. Tinanong na ko ng mga katrabaho ko, ano ba meron sa kin, bakit ang tamlay ko. Sabi ko hindi ko alam, di ko maintindihan.
Alam mo ba yung pakiramdam na parang may malaking butas sa sarili mo? Tipong merong kailangang makapuno?
Yun ang nararamdaman ko nung araw na yun. Gusto ko nang sumigaw. Magwala. Malay ko ba kung ano lang ito. Pero hindi ko ginawa, hindi naman dapat.
Mga bandang tanghalian, tumawag sya. Lam mo na... Siya. Yung lalaking minahal ko buong buhay ko pero iniwan ako para sa ibang tao. Wala lang nangumusta lang. Labas daw kami pagkatapos ng class. Nag-isip ako ng mabuti, kung papayag ako o hindi. Naisip ko, ano ba namang masama. Nasa malayo naman nagtatrabaho ang girlfriend nya, parang malalaman, di ba?
Natapos ang araw, sobrang excited ako. Sinundo nya ako sa school. Kumain kami. Nag-usap. Binalik ang nakaraan. Sabi ko na lang wag nang pag-usapan. May buhay na sya, masaya na rin ako sa buhay ko. Kaibigan na lang ang maibibigay ko. Ang drama pa nga, sabi niya mahal pa daw nya ako. Ikumpara ba 'ko sa bago! Mas mabait daw ako, mas understanding...
Sabi ko nga , "Aba eh bakit sa 'kin mo sinasabi yan, ano ito bolahan?!"
Natawa lang sya kahit hindi nakakatawa. Nainis nga ako, di ko na lang pinakita.
Pero kahit na nag-uusap kami nandun pa rin yung malaking butas, nararamdaman ko pa rin. Hanggang naisip ko baka kulang lang ako sa pagtawag sa kanya. Siguro naman alam nyo kung sino yun.
Naglalakad na kami pauwi, papunta sa auto nya. Nakalimutan ko kahit sandali ang kulang na nararamdaman. Napatawa pa ko sa mga biro nya. Napalo ko pa nga sa kakatawa.
Biglang nag-ring ang cellphone ko.
Kapatid nya, umiiyak.
Sabi ko "Bakit? Kasama ko kuya mo, pauwi na kami..."
Bigla syang natahimik, tinanong ko kung bakit at dahan- dahan nyang sinabi...
"Pa'no nangyari yun e si kuya nadisgrasya. na total wreck sasakyan nya. Ate, patay na sya..."
Nabigla ako.
Hindi ko maintindihan, pano nangyari na patay na sya e kasama ko pa, pag harap ko sa likod ko, nandun pa sya, ganun pa rin suot nya pero duguan na...
Napaluha ako.
Ngumiti lang sya at sinabi na, "Naramdaman mo na ba yung pakiramdam na parang may kulang, hindi mo maintindihan kung bakit?"
Napa-oo na lang ako habang patuloy na lumuluha...
"papunta ako sa iyo ngayon, dahil gusto kong sabihin na ikaw pala yun, 'yung kulang sa buhay ko...Gusto ko sana na magpakasal tayo...Pero di ba sabi ko naman sayo kahit anong mangyari, gusto ko bago ako mamatay ikaw ang asa tabi ko..."
Tapos bigla syang nawala.
Bumigat lalo ang pakiramdam ko, napa-upo ako sa lapag. Wala na lang akong magawa kung hindi umiyak. Bakit kung kailan lahat ng sinabi nya tama sa pandinig ko, hangin na lang ang lahat ng ito...
i don't know who wrote this so i am unable to give proper credit to the author. it was just one of thos emails that get spammed to everybody. i just hope to god that this is not a true story or based from true story. although, when you think about it, art ofen imitates real life.
again, i am reminded of how important it is to always, always say and show people how much they mean to me. even if it sounds mushy. even if it's the same three words i say over and over again. 'cause i just don't know when it might be too late for either of us to even say it.
Nagising na lang ako isang umaga, naramdaman ko parang may kulang.Kumain ako ng almusal, nakausap ko na lahat ng tao sa bahay, pero bakit ganito, parang ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Pumasok ako sa school. Nag-iisip pa rin. Muntik na nga ako matisod sa kakaisip lang nito. Tinanong na ko ng mga katrabaho ko, ano ba meron sa kin, bakit ang tamlay ko. Sabi ko hindi ko alam, di ko maintindihan.
Alam mo ba yung pakiramdam na parang may malaking butas sa sarili mo? Tipong merong kailangang makapuno?
Yun ang nararamdaman ko nung araw na yun. Gusto ko nang sumigaw. Magwala. Malay ko ba kung ano lang ito. Pero hindi ko ginawa, hindi naman dapat.
Mga bandang tanghalian, tumawag sya. Lam mo na... Siya. Yung lalaking minahal ko buong buhay ko pero iniwan ako para sa ibang tao. Wala lang nangumusta lang. Labas daw kami pagkatapos ng class. Nag-isip ako ng mabuti, kung papayag ako o hindi. Naisip ko, ano ba namang masama. Nasa malayo naman nagtatrabaho ang girlfriend nya, parang malalaman, di ba?
Natapos ang araw, sobrang excited ako. Sinundo nya ako sa school. Kumain kami. Nag-usap. Binalik ang nakaraan. Sabi ko na lang wag nang pag-usapan. May buhay na sya, masaya na rin ako sa buhay ko. Kaibigan na lang ang maibibigay ko. Ang drama pa nga, sabi niya mahal pa daw nya ako. Ikumpara ba 'ko sa bago! Mas mabait daw ako, mas understanding...
Sabi ko nga , "Aba eh bakit sa 'kin mo sinasabi yan, ano ito bolahan?!"
Natawa lang sya kahit hindi nakakatawa. Nainis nga ako, di ko na lang pinakita.
Pero kahit na nag-uusap kami nandun pa rin yung malaking butas, nararamdaman ko pa rin. Hanggang naisip ko baka kulang lang ako sa pagtawag sa kanya. Siguro naman alam nyo kung sino yun.
Naglalakad na kami pauwi, papunta sa auto nya. Nakalimutan ko kahit sandali ang kulang na nararamdaman. Napatawa pa ko sa mga biro nya. Napalo ko pa nga sa kakatawa.
Biglang nag-ring ang cellphone ko.
Kapatid nya, umiiyak.
Sabi ko "Bakit? Kasama ko kuya mo, pauwi na kami..."
Bigla syang natahimik, tinanong ko kung bakit at dahan- dahan nyang sinabi...
"Pa'no nangyari yun e si kuya nadisgrasya. na total wreck sasakyan nya. Ate, patay na sya..."
Nabigla ako.
Hindi ko maintindihan, pano nangyari na patay na sya e kasama ko pa, pag harap ko sa likod ko, nandun pa sya, ganun pa rin suot nya pero duguan na...
Napaluha ako.
Ngumiti lang sya at sinabi na, "Naramdaman mo na ba yung pakiramdam na parang may kulang, hindi mo maintindihan kung bakit?"
Napa-oo na lang ako habang patuloy na lumuluha...
"papunta ako sa iyo ngayon, dahil gusto kong sabihin na ikaw pala yun, 'yung kulang sa buhay ko...Gusto ko sana na magpakasal tayo...Pero di ba sabi ko naman sayo kahit anong mangyari, gusto ko bago ako mamatay ikaw ang asa tabi ko..."
Tapos bigla syang nawala.
Bumigat lalo ang pakiramdam ko, napa-upo ako sa lapag. Wala na lang akong magawa kung hindi umiyak. Bakit kung kailan lahat ng sinabi nya tama sa pandinig ko, hangin na lang ang lahat ng ito...
i don't know who wrote this so i am unable to give proper credit to the author. it was just one of thos emails that get spammed to everybody. i just hope to god that this is not a true story or based from true story. although, when you think about it, art ofen imitates real life.
again, i am reminded of how important it is to always, always say and show people how much they mean to me. even if it sounds mushy. even if it's the same three words i say over and over again. 'cause i just don't know when it might be too late for either of us to even say it.
this is me...
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
alone again, naturally...
mahirap pala ang mag-isa...
habang palapit nang palapit ang pasko...habang palamig nang palamig ang gabi... habang patuloy ang tila walang-hanggan kong pag-iigib ng tubig araw-araw... habang pahirap nang pahirap ang paghahanap ko ng bagong water pump... lalo kong naiisip na hindi pala madali ang mag-isa... hindi pala masaya tulad ng inaakala ko noon.
wala akong ibang inisip noong nag-aaral pa ko kundi ang makatapos at masuportahan ang sarili ko. gusto ko maging isang "independent career girl". ang taray no?! hah! ang hirap pala... sa umpisa, nakakatuwa. wala kasing nakikialam sa yo, walang magsasabi kung anong oras ka uuwi at kung sino lang ang pwede mong patuluyin sa bahay mo.... tuwang-tuwa ako dahil hindi na ko umaasa sa magulang ko. kaya ko nang mabuhay ng mag-isa.
kaya ko, pero hindi pala sya ganun kadali...
nakakapagod palang umasa sa sarili mo. pag may krisis, sarili mo lang ang aasahan mo. walang ibang tutulong sa'yo kundi ikaw lang. kahit pa sabihin mo na may mga kaibigan at nobyo kang aalalay sa yo... hindi lahat ng oras nandyan sila kasi may mga sarili rin silang buhay. may mga sariling alalahanin at krisis. mag-isa kang uuwi sa bahay mo, mag-isa kang matutulog sa malaki mong kama, mag-isa kang kakain nga hapunan o tanghalian...
i am strong and am getting stronger with each challenge i surpass. i am living by myself, living the life that i have dreamed of for so long. but the fact remains that.. i could have been happier otherwise.
habang palapit nang palapit ang pasko...habang palamig nang palamig ang gabi... habang patuloy ang tila walang-hanggan kong pag-iigib ng tubig araw-araw... habang pahirap nang pahirap ang paghahanap ko ng bagong water pump... lalo kong naiisip na hindi pala madali ang mag-isa... hindi pala masaya tulad ng inaakala ko noon.
wala akong ibang inisip noong nag-aaral pa ko kundi ang makatapos at masuportahan ang sarili ko. gusto ko maging isang "independent career girl". ang taray no?! hah! ang hirap pala... sa umpisa, nakakatuwa. wala kasing nakikialam sa yo, walang magsasabi kung anong oras ka uuwi at kung sino lang ang pwede mong patuluyin sa bahay mo.... tuwang-tuwa ako dahil hindi na ko umaasa sa magulang ko. kaya ko nang mabuhay ng mag-isa.
kaya ko, pero hindi pala sya ganun kadali...
nakakapagod palang umasa sa sarili mo. pag may krisis, sarili mo lang ang aasahan mo. walang ibang tutulong sa'yo kundi ikaw lang. kahit pa sabihin mo na may mga kaibigan at nobyo kang aalalay sa yo... hindi lahat ng oras nandyan sila kasi may mga sarili rin silang buhay. may mga sariling alalahanin at krisis. mag-isa kang uuwi sa bahay mo, mag-isa kang matutulog sa malaki mong kama, mag-isa kang kakain nga hapunan o tanghalian...
i am strong and am getting stronger with each challenge i surpass. i am living by myself, living the life that i have dreamed of for so long. but the fact remains that.. i could have been happier otherwise.
You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
all i want for christmas...
hay, pasko na... eto ako, stressed and depressed dahil sira pa rin ang water pump namin hanggang ngayon. pinakamasakit sa lahat eh thousands of pesoseses na naubos ko, hindi pa rin sya gawa. kaya while having my facial yesterday eh mega-tsika ako sa aking mother dear na umuwi muna dito to look into our pump... hay!paubos na kabang-yaman ko, marami pa ring bills na dapat bayaran... independence is not all that it's cut out to be.
i have always wanted to live by myself. no parents and siblings to tell me what to do. no screaming nieces and nephews. all peace, quiet, and time for myself... i forgot that freedom doesn't come without a price. since i am now little ms.independent, i have to do my own laundry, cook, clean the house, and play landlady to my mother's tenants. arghh!!!
in the great words of doña meng:"i am destitute." i have been saving up what little i could salvage from my salary for the grand vacation DK and I would be having on January in Bacolod. Now, with all the spending that has been going on over my blasted water pump, the possibility of ever leaving manila is bleak. *sigh*
john lennon wasn't kidding when he said that life is what happens when all of us are busy making plans.
oh well... paubos man ang pera ko, at least may papa pa rin ako. DK has been a source of strength for me. i wouldn't know what i would do without him. he asked me a couple of days ago what i wanted for christmas. hmmmm... to be honest, i can't think of anything that i want for christmas. marami na kong damit, makakabili naman ako ng sarili kong gamit... what i want is peace of mind. i want financial stability and security. i want a guarantee that DK and I would be together forever. kung meron mang makakapagsabi kung san ko makukuha ang mga ito, please lang...email me.
i have always wanted to live by myself. no parents and siblings to tell me what to do. no screaming nieces and nephews. all peace, quiet, and time for myself... i forgot that freedom doesn't come without a price. since i am now little ms.independent, i have to do my own laundry, cook, clean the house, and play landlady to my mother's tenants. arghh!!!
in the great words of doña meng:"i am destitute." i have been saving up what little i could salvage from my salary for the grand vacation DK and I would be having on January in Bacolod. Now, with all the spending that has been going on over my blasted water pump, the possibility of ever leaving manila is bleak. *sigh*
john lennon wasn't kidding when he said that life is what happens when all of us are busy making plans.
oh well... paubos man ang pera ko, at least may papa pa rin ako. DK has been a source of strength for me. i wouldn't know what i would do without him. he asked me a couple of days ago what i wanted for christmas. hmmmm... to be honest, i can't think of anything that i want for christmas. marami na kong damit, makakabili naman ako ng sarili kong gamit... what i want is peace of mind. i want financial stability and security. i want a guarantee that DK and I would be together forever. kung meron mang makakapagsabi kung san ko makukuha ang mga ito, please lang...email me.
hindi totoo ito!!!
HOUDINI:
You start with high hopes, quickly gain lots of
readers and admirers - just to suddenly vanish,
never to be heard of.
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divine discontent
once again, i am thinking... no.. i am going to have my blog's look changed.
i know, i know... i am getting pretty much annoyed about this too. it's a pain to have to change my blog's skin all the time. but i am only human. despite my being a goddess and all (*wink*), i remain human. and to be human is to be eternally discontented. we are happy but we are not content. we think, therefore... we are.
so, once again i am on the scout for a suitable skin for my blog. most of my friends told me that they don't like the new look at all so...*sigh*.
UPDATE: due to insistent public demand, my old template is back. this is all for the meantime of course.
i know, i know... i am getting pretty much annoyed about this too. it's a pain to have to change my blog's skin all the time. but i am only human. despite my being a goddess and all (*wink*), i remain human. and to be human is to be eternally discontented. we are happy but we are not content. we think, therefore... we are.
so, once again i am on the scout for a suitable skin for my blog. most of my friends told me that they don't like the new look at all so...*sigh*.
UPDATE: due to insistent public demand, my old template is back. this is all for the meantime of course.
finally! after playing dress-up with my blog, i have found the one that actually fits! i'm still not satisfied with the pic and the top could use something... hmmm... my creative juices are just a-flowing!
by the way, i have moved from tag-board to chatterbox. it was something i had to do. the tagboard won't fit in my new slim skin... hehehehehehe *wink*
by the way, i have moved from tag-board to chatterbox. it was something i had to do. the tagboard won't fit in my new slim skin... hehehehehehe *wink*
bakit tahimik ang diosa...
kasi abalang-abala sa pagbusisi ng blogst... once again, i am on the prowl for the one, the skin that will suit me... wish me luck!...
back from my short respite, i am feeling so up, up, up!!! there is nothing but a great weekend to rev up your week...
november 1, your dear goddess celebrated her birthday with her beloved and his relatives... it was a happy event. we went swimming of course. ^_^ this is one of the few truly happy birthdays that i had. when i was a kid i absolutely hated my birthday. don't ask me why. my birthday is on november 1. i think that fact explains it all.
i am now officially 23.
funny but i feel a lot older than that. i feel like i've been thru so much already. i never thought that i would reach this age. i never thought i'd have a job, or be able to actually live by myself and survive. it didn't occur to me that i'd be in a relationship, that i'd be able to handle it, that i'd be fighting for it, compromising for it... i didn't know i'd fall in love.
looking back, i could only feel nostalgia and gratitude for the One Up There who never gives up on me and keeps on sending me gifts. whether it's my birthday or not.
november 1, your dear goddess celebrated her birthday with her beloved and his relatives... it was a happy event. we went swimming of course. ^_^ this is one of the few truly happy birthdays that i had. when i was a kid i absolutely hated my birthday. don't ask me why. my birthday is on november 1. i think that fact explains it all.
i am now officially 23.
funny but i feel a lot older than that. i feel like i've been thru so much already. i never thought that i would reach this age. i never thought i'd have a job, or be able to actually live by myself and survive. it didn't occur to me that i'd be in a relationship, that i'd be able to handle it, that i'd be fighting for it, compromising for it... i didn't know i'd fall in love.
looking back, i could only feel nostalgia and gratitude for the One Up There who never gives up on me and keeps on sending me gifts. whether it's my birthday or not.
after my post about best friends landed with the resounding crash of a grand piano, there is nothing between us tres marias but silence. a loud deafening silence...
this is for the better i suppose since this will keep me from further saying something on the issue. some things really are better left unsaid. on the other hand, bitter feelings should be brought to light and addressed before they cause further rift. this is why i felt the need to be true to myself and say what i have been wanting to say to her for the longest time...
i am not happy with the choices she has made. i feel that this brought about the sticky , maddening situation we find ourselves in. sometimes, i feel that a part of me has been taken and i guess this is true... she has been spirited away from me and no matter what i do she will never come back...
yes... new experiences bring about a new set of priorities. we all have to grow and at some point, the one path where we all walked on would branch out to give way to these fresh encounters. yes... in the long run, at some point or another we would find ourselves absolutely alone. still, it helps to know that there would always be people you could fall back on...
i thought that she would be that person. no matter what happens, she would be there for me. she would always be my voice of reason, my refuge. but things are different now. it's a tough pill to swallow but there it is. stuck in my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. no matter how we all wish things are the same, the choices she has made for herself won't allow us to go back and pretend this nightmare never happened...
i am ending this all with a heavy heart and a sigh. none of what i said will change anything...her husband won't suddenly welcome us in their home. she won't instantly get free time and spend it with us guilt-free. her baby won't miraculously be in the pink of health...i am sorry if any of these hurt her... but maybe, instead, she should aknowledge my pain...
i am not closing my doors nor have i developed an aversion to her. though the times have changed, my love fore her and my support as her friend remain the same. if she can't be my refuge... then i can be hers...
i do not need to let go of her anymore... sadly, she has left me long before i reached for her and realized it's a dream i've been clinging to all along....
this is for the better i suppose since this will keep me from further saying something on the issue. some things really are better left unsaid. on the other hand, bitter feelings should be brought to light and addressed before they cause further rift. this is why i felt the need to be true to myself and say what i have been wanting to say to her for the longest time...
i am not happy with the choices she has made. i feel that this brought about the sticky , maddening situation we find ourselves in. sometimes, i feel that a part of me has been taken and i guess this is true... she has been spirited away from me and no matter what i do she will never come back...
yes... new experiences bring about a new set of priorities. we all have to grow and at some point, the one path where we all walked on would branch out to give way to these fresh encounters. yes... in the long run, at some point or another we would find ourselves absolutely alone. still, it helps to know that there would always be people you could fall back on...
i thought that she would be that person. no matter what happens, she would be there for me. she would always be my voice of reason, my refuge. but things are different now. it's a tough pill to swallow but there it is. stuck in my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. no matter how we all wish things are the same, the choices she has made for herself won't allow us to go back and pretend this nightmare never happened...
i am ending this all with a heavy heart and a sigh. none of what i said will change anything...her husband won't suddenly welcome us in their home. she won't instantly get free time and spend it with us guilt-free. her baby won't miraculously be in the pink of health...i am sorry if any of these hurt her... but maybe, instead, she should aknowledge my pain...
i am not closing my doors nor have i developed an aversion to her. though the times have changed, my love fore her and my support as her friend remain the same. if she can't be my refuge... then i can be hers...
i do not need to let go of her anymore... sadly, she has left me long before i reached for her and realized it's a dream i've been clinging to all along....
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