i am glad that i am alive and breathing, with no part of my face or body scarred or hurt. i am happy to have spent two nights in keith's arms and three whole days in his company. i am relieved that my house has not been ravaged by the fire that recently hit our neighborhood. i am happy that my sss loan was approved. i am touched that keith's aunt was kind enough to take me in on their small flat while i am waiting for electricity to return on our neighborhood. i have been blessed yet i can't find any reason for me to smile today. none at all.


i want to lie down and rest. i want to close my eyes and sleep my cares away. i want to take off my armor and show everybody that i'm only human after all. i am as vulnerable and weak as the next person is. i am tired of keeping up my facade of strength and self-sufficiency. i want to cry. i want to weep until my eyes dry up and i can't shed any more tears. i want to cry and cry and cry until all my tears have washed away the emptiness and longing in my heart...and maybe then i would find a reason to smile again.