i hate going to hospitals. i hate going to clinics. i hate having to see a doctor, especially a dentist. i hate sitting on a cold chair, talking with a complete stranger about whatever problems you are having. that's why i want someone with me. i want you with me.
you are my strength, my refuge. despite that little voice in my head saying "c'mon ice, you can do this. you're tough. you don't need him.", i still would ask you each time i have an appointment with the doctor to come with me. out of the ten times i asked you, you refused 6 times.
that hurt.
and now, i am going to find myself once again walking by myself towards my doctor's clinic, saying to myself "it's ok. everything is going to be all right." i'll clasp my hands together because yours won't be there for me to reach and cling to. i'd sigh and wish it was you who was comforting me and not myself.
i'm tough and i'd be able to go thru this alone. i've been thru meaner, scarier situations alone and have survived. but sometimes... sometimes i wish there was someone with me to hold my hand and say " don't worry. it's gonna be all right. "
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