after my post about best friends landed with the resounding crash of a grand piano, there is nothing between us tres marias but silence. a loud deafening silence...
this is for the better i suppose since this will keep me from further saying something on the issue. some things really are better left unsaid. on the other hand, bitter feelings should be brought to light and addressed before they cause further rift. this is why i felt the need to be true to myself and say what i have been wanting to say to her for the longest time...
i am not happy with the choices she has made. i feel that this brought about the sticky , maddening situation we find ourselves in. sometimes, i feel that a part of me has been taken and i guess this is true... she has been spirited away from me and no matter what i do she will never come back...
yes... new experiences bring about a new set of priorities. we all have to grow and at some point, the one path where we all walked on would branch out to give way to these fresh encounters. yes... in the long run, at some point or another we would find ourselves absolutely alone. still, it helps to know that there would always be people you could fall back on...
i thought that she would be that person. no matter what happens, she would be there for me. she would always be my voice of reason, my refuge. but things are different now. it's a tough pill to swallow but there it is. stuck in my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. no matter how we all wish things are the same, the choices she has made for herself won't allow us to go back and pretend this nightmare never happened...
i am ending this all with a heavy heart and a sigh. none of what i said will change anything...her husband won't suddenly welcome us in their home. she won't instantly get free time and spend it with us guilt-free. her baby won't miraculously be in the pink of health...i am sorry if any of these hurt her... but maybe, instead, she should aknowledge my pain...
i am not closing my doors nor have i developed an aversion to her. though the times have changed, my love fore her and my support as her friend remain the same. if she can't be my refuge... then i can be hers...
i do not need to let go of her anymore... sadly, she has left me long before i reached for her and realized it's a dream i've been clinging to all along....
kaya pala...
people, hindi ko 'to sinadya... promise! ito talaga ang lumabas na resulta...so, i guess... despite my average looks and above-average wit and intelligence, i truly am... a goddess...
You are a goddess!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a goddess!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hmm... this must explain my affinity with Anne Rice's novels and Blade...
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
we are the best of friends...
people oftentimes referred to us as twins. we were inseparable. always together, thru thick and thin. anything that happened to her, eventually happened to me. our birthdays are just a week apart so both of us are scorpios. people always said we look alike despite the fact that i look like you typical filipina, and she, an Indian beauty.
we were so close that i found it hard to imagine there would come a time that we would part ways. i've always thought that we would grow together. we would both finish school, get jobs, start our career and tour the world together. i thought then , that husbands and babies would come much later. after all, we are just beginning to live our lives.
we are the best of friends...
sooner than everyone thought, she got pregnant and married to the father of her child. she was twenty, just graduated from college... i didn't want to go to her wedding because i didn't want her to get married. i thought it's ok to have the baby for now and wait till her boyfriend's got a good, steady job. but off to the altar she went and now she's 24, married with 2 kids.
a lot of things has happened to me that i wanted to share with her, just like before. but we hardly see each other now... i drown myself with my work and my boyfriend... she has her family to take care of now...i want to spend time with her like before and talk about anything and everything under the sun, just walk around the mall or sit on a cafe without a care in the world... i want her and me and laiza and nina to go to the beach together, have fun and hang around like the good old days...
yah.. those were the good, old days... things change and people change along with them... new experiences bring on a new set of priorities... i knew on the day she took her marriage vows that our paths would be parted from now on...
we were the best of friends...
people oftentimes referred to us as twins. we were inseparable. always together, thru thick and thin. anything that happened to her, eventually happened to me. our birthdays are just a week apart so both of us are scorpios. people always said we look alike despite the fact that i look like you typical filipina, and she, an Indian beauty.
we were so close that i found it hard to imagine there would come a time that we would part ways. i've always thought that we would grow together. we would both finish school, get jobs, start our career and tour the world together. i thought then , that husbands and babies would come much later. after all, we are just beginning to live our lives.
we are the best of friends...
sooner than everyone thought, she got pregnant and married to the father of her child. she was twenty, just graduated from college... i didn't want to go to her wedding because i didn't want her to get married. i thought it's ok to have the baby for now and wait till her boyfriend's got a good, steady job. but off to the altar she went and now she's 24, married with 2 kids.
a lot of things has happened to me that i wanted to share with her, just like before. but we hardly see each other now... i drown myself with my work and my boyfriend... she has her family to take care of now...i want to spend time with her like before and talk about anything and everything under the sun, just walk around the mall or sit on a cafe without a care in the world... i want her and me and laiza and nina to go to the beach together, have fun and hang around like the good old days...
yah.. those were the good, old days... things change and people change along with them... new experiences bring on a new set of priorities... i knew on the day she took her marriage vows that our paths would be parted from now on...
we were the best of friends...
ang halik ng diosa
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
the hidden side of me...
You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always
behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outta
people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,
after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.
Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.
However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.
?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
the siren...
| I am the Siren A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play - by always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a total release form the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a realm of pure pleasure. In a world where women are often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of the male libido by embodying his fantasy. Symbol: Water. The song of the Siren is liquid and enticing, and the Siren herself is fluid and ungraspable. Like the sea, the Siren lures you with the promise of infinite adventure and pleasure. Forgetting past and future, men follow her far out to sea, where they drown. |
What Type of Seducer are You?
created by
polite_society kaya pala sila nabibighani sa 'kin... bwahaahahahaha!
for taltos
"Boy you reminded me of putting this things into words and save them for a rainy day. Your shameful heart and sinful soul, Oh I'm amazed by you and all that you are...Your devious ways,you do the work of the dark forces in this world and you're real, Oh yes you are..."
ethan hawke's character in Gattaca said that he never realized how far he was from his dream when he was but standing just right beside it. similarly, i have never realized how much i wanted you till you were but inches from me. you're just right there for me to touch but a huge wall couldn't have separated us more than the silence we have chosen to surround ourselves. neither of us wants to say anything about what we've talked about so casually a couple of days ago. neither of us wants to look the either in the eye, for fear of being given away by the passion one of us might find there.
"You really knew right from the start, How to work your way to my heart. And then you pulled the trigger, Shot me where I'm the weakest. You're a disgrace, to the human race With your pretty face. Your devious ways you do the work of dark forces in this world And you're evil...oh yes you are..."
the age-old dilemma of loving someone but being attracted to another could be resolved by walking along only one path. i chose love over lust. i am happy with my choice but a thousand what-ifs are racing thru my head. each time i glance your way, i ask myself: what if?...
"Damned, you're one man I just can't stand. You're Damned, you built your castle on the sand... you're Damned, how could i ever want you for my man? I've lost you now...So why do I care?"
ethan hawke's character in Gattaca said that he never realized how far he was from his dream when he was but standing just right beside it. similarly, i have never realized how much i wanted you till you were but inches from me. you're just right there for me to touch but a huge wall couldn't have separated us more than the silence we have chosen to surround ourselves. neither of us wants to say anything about what we've talked about so casually a couple of days ago. neither of us wants to look the either in the eye, for fear of being given away by the passion one of us might find there.
"You really knew right from the start, How to work your way to my heart. And then you pulled the trigger, Shot me where I'm the weakest. You're a disgrace, to the human race With your pretty face. Your devious ways you do the work of dark forces in this world And you're evil...oh yes you are..."
the age-old dilemma of loving someone but being attracted to another could be resolved by walking along only one path. i chose love over lust. i am happy with my choice but a thousand what-ifs are racing thru my head. each time i glance your way, i ask myself: what if?...
"Damned, you're one man I just can't stand. You're Damned, you built your castle on the sand... you're Damned, how could i ever want you for my man? I've lost you now...So why do I care?"
kung ako ay libre...
eto ang nabungaran ko sa dyaryong libre kanina...
scorpio: tumakbo ka man... hindi ka na nya hahabulin.
aquarius: hanggang tingin ka na lang... hindi na sya mapapasaiyo.
so! hindi talaga pu-pwede. hindi ko na ipipilit at baka dumugo pa. mahirap ang pinupwersa ang mga bagay-bagay eh. may sasakit at sasakit, may masasaktan at masasaktan. kaya pala hindi mo na ko kinikibo... nahihiya ka ba sa mga pinagsasasabi mo nung mga nakaraang araw? hah! dapat lang noh... although i was definitely flattered i was not the least bit happy with what you want me to be in your life... fubu... fuck-buddy... oh, wag mo na i-deny. yun din naman ang labas ko eh kung pumayag ako sa gusto mo... hay! pero i was so tempted... ang cute mo kasi eh...
ngunit nanaig ang dakila kong pagmamahal para sa aking sinisinta... hay! kung di ko lang sya talaga mahal... kung libre lang ako eh wala sanang problema... kaya ngayon eh dinedema mo na ko... kasi hanggang tingin ka na lang dahil hindi ako mapapasaiyo...
at ako?
singtulin man ng mrt ang takbo ko... keber na habulin mo ko...
scorpio: tumakbo ka man... hindi ka na nya hahabulin.
aquarius: hanggang tingin ka na lang... hindi na sya mapapasaiyo.
so! hindi talaga pu-pwede. hindi ko na ipipilit at baka dumugo pa. mahirap ang pinupwersa ang mga bagay-bagay eh. may sasakit at sasakit, may masasaktan at masasaktan. kaya pala hindi mo na ko kinikibo... nahihiya ka ba sa mga pinagsasasabi mo nung mga nakaraang araw? hah! dapat lang noh... although i was definitely flattered i was not the least bit happy with what you want me to be in your life... fubu... fuck-buddy... oh, wag mo na i-deny. yun din naman ang labas ko eh kung pumayag ako sa gusto mo... hay! pero i was so tempted... ang cute mo kasi eh...
ngunit nanaig ang dakila kong pagmamahal para sa aking sinisinta... hay! kung di ko lang sya talaga mahal... kung libre lang ako eh wala sanang problema... kaya ngayon eh dinedema mo na ko... kasi hanggang tingin ka na lang dahil hindi ako mapapasaiyo...
at ako?
singtulin man ng mrt ang takbo ko... keber na habulin mo ko...
boys will be boys
bakit ka ganyan?! kulang pa ba ang binigay kong pagmamahal, kalinga at atensyon para pagsalitaan mo ko ng ganyan? kulang pa ba lahat ng sakripisyo, ng sama ng loob? kulang pa ba ang pag-ibig na binibigay ko sa'yo para isipin mong iiwan kita at sasama ko sa iba? mukha ba kong pokpok para isipin mong konting kalabit lang ng lalaki eh bibigay ako? kung pokpok ako eh gasgas na sana ko nung nakuha mo ko... pero alam mong ikaw lang. ikaw lang ang mahal ko... at hindi kita iiwan ng paganun-ganun lang....
isa ka pa... sumasabay ka sa boypren kong isa't kalahating engot!... feeling mo ba eh bibigay ako sa paanyaya mo? sorry. casual sex has never been my thing. oo, brutal ako magsalita. i'm loud but i know my limits. i'm sorry but i have never given myself for free. not even to someone with such a pretty face as yours. sayang ka talaga... laki ng panghihinayang ko sa'yo... crush kita eh. i guess, looks really do deceive...
ang boypren kong mahal insecure... ikaw naman sobrang secure! hay! bakit ba kayong mga lalake eh ganyan?! at kami pang mga babae sinasabihan n'yong mahirap ispelengin ha!*sigh*
isa ka pa... sumasabay ka sa boypren kong isa't kalahating engot!... feeling mo ba eh bibigay ako sa paanyaya mo? sorry. casual sex has never been my thing. oo, brutal ako magsalita. i'm loud but i know my limits. i'm sorry but i have never given myself for free. not even to someone with such a pretty face as yours. sayang ka talaga... laki ng panghihinayang ko sa'yo... crush kita eh. i guess, looks really do deceive...
ang boypren kong mahal insecure... ikaw naman sobrang secure! hay! bakit ba kayong mga lalake eh ganyan?! at kami pang mga babae sinasabihan n'yong mahirap ispelengin ha!*sigh*
taguan
sige... laro tayo... ikaw, ako at ang "friend" mo... taguan tayo... ang mahuli, syempre, taya... unahan kayong mahuli ako. yan, eh kung papahuli nga ako...
sige... landian tayo... ikaw at ako lang... kasi wala kamo "friend" mo eh... madali naman ako kausap. harutin mo ko, tingnan mo kung harutin kita... tingnan mo kung patulan kita...
bilib din talaga ko sa'yo... lakas ng appeal mo, promise!... kaya, sige... laro tayo...tingnan natin kung magkahulihan tayo ng loob. tandaan mo lang na walang pikunan 'to. tandaan mo lang na may boyfriend ako...
type mo din ako?! o, kala ko ba eh "friend" mo lang ang may gusto sa'kin? bakit ngayon eh nakiki-ride ka?
ahh.. kasi wala sya...okay... sex? ano kamo? ah... yan ba ang gusto mo?hmmmm...cute ka... type kita...
sige... pag-iisipan ko...
sige... landian tayo... ikaw at ako lang... kasi wala kamo "friend" mo eh... madali naman ako kausap. harutin mo ko, tingnan mo kung harutin kita... tingnan mo kung patulan kita...
bilib din talaga ko sa'yo... lakas ng appeal mo, promise!... kaya, sige... laro tayo...tingnan natin kung magkahulihan tayo ng loob. tandaan mo lang na walang pikunan 'to. tandaan mo lang na may boyfriend ako...
type mo din ako?! o, kala ko ba eh "friend" mo lang ang may gusto sa'kin? bakit ngayon eh nakiki-ride ka?
ahh.. kasi wala sya...okay... sex? ano kamo? ah... yan ba ang gusto mo?hmmmm...cute ka... type kita...
sige... pag-iisipan ko...
all apologies
i didn't mean for you to read his text message. i didn't mean to keep this from you. it's just that i know you will take this the wrong way... so what's the point of telling you? either way you'll be mad. just like you are right now...
you embarrassed me twice now. all because some guy told me he and his friend are attracted to me sexually. that is not my fault . i know i am not beautiful and i am not sexy. so don't blame me if they see me as a "sexual goddess" despite my dark skin, plain face, and bloated body. i didn't ask him to IM me and tell me all sorts of things about him and his friend. i didn't want any of this and didn't mean for this to happen...
i truly am sorry.
i'm sorry if i keep on thinking that i'm not your priority. i'm sorry i'm demanding. i'm sorry i keep begging for your attention and time. i'm sorry i kept this from you. i'm sorry i made you mad...
i'm sorry i can't stop myself from texting him back. i'm sorry i kept replying to his IM. i'm sorry i'm flattered by his attentions. i'm sorry i'm thrilled by his words. i'm sorry for thinking about him all the time. i'm sorry i like him... i'm sorry i never told him about you...
i'm so very sorry...
you embarrassed me twice now. all because some guy told me he and his friend are attracted to me sexually. that is not my fault . i know i am not beautiful and i am not sexy. so don't blame me if they see me as a "sexual goddess" despite my dark skin, plain face, and bloated body. i didn't ask him to IM me and tell me all sorts of things about him and his friend. i didn't want any of this and didn't mean for this to happen...
i truly am sorry.
i'm sorry if i keep on thinking that i'm not your priority. i'm sorry i'm demanding. i'm sorry i keep begging for your attention and time. i'm sorry i kept this from you. i'm sorry i made you mad...
i'm sorry i can't stop myself from texting him back. i'm sorry i kept replying to his IM. i'm sorry i'm flattered by his attentions. i'm sorry i'm thrilled by his words. i'm sorry for thinking about him all the time. i'm sorry i like him... i'm sorry i never told him about you...
i'm so very sorry...
Introducing: Taltos
nakakagulat ka. hindi ko alam na ganyan ka pala... makulit, nakakatuwa, nasa loob ang kulo. hay! nabuhay na namang magmuli ang paghanga ko sa'yo. and cute-cute mo talaga! dati pa crush na kita kaya lang may girlfriend ka nun eh... tsaka may boyfriend ako. ngayon, libreng-libre ka na. wala na kayo eh. pero kami pa rin ni boyfriend, stronger than ever.
ano?! sexually attracted ang "friend" mo sa kin?hus! baka ikaw lang yon!... ahahhaahha...apollo ba kamo ang pangalan nya? talaga lang ha... ako naman si venus... ahahahahahaha...
tuwang-tuwa ako makipag-usap sa'yo. nakakakilig... crush kasi kita eh. pihadong manlalaki butas ng ilong ng boyfriend ko sa galit pag nalaman n'ya 'to pero ala ko pakialam. bakit? di na ba ako pwede magka-crush??? crush lang naman eh. tsaka hindi naman ako ang tipo mo di ba? yung "friend" mo lang ang may gusto sa 'kin.
ha?!ano number ko? pinatatanong ng friend mo kung open-minded ako sa sex?! aba... iba na 'ata ito ah. oo. open-minded ako sa sex. pag-uusapan lang naman pala eh. at eto nga pala number ko. textmates? oo, bah! textmates lang naman pala eh...
uuwi ka na? sige... kita-kits na lang ha.
hay! ang cute mo talaga! u make me so kilig!!!
ano?! sexually attracted ang "friend" mo sa kin?hus! baka ikaw lang yon!... ahahhaahha...apollo ba kamo ang pangalan nya? talaga lang ha... ako naman si venus... ahahahahahaha...
tuwang-tuwa ako makipag-usap sa'yo. nakakakilig... crush kasi kita eh. pihadong manlalaki butas ng ilong ng boyfriend ko sa galit pag nalaman n'ya 'to pero ala ko pakialam. bakit? di na ba ako pwede magka-crush??? crush lang naman eh. tsaka hindi naman ako ang tipo mo di ba? yung "friend" mo lang ang may gusto sa 'kin.
ha?!ano number ko? pinatatanong ng friend mo kung open-minded ako sa sex?! aba... iba na 'ata ito ah. oo. open-minded ako sa sex. pag-uusapan lang naman pala eh. at eto nga pala number ko. textmates? oo, bah! textmates lang naman pala eh...
uuwi ka na? sige... kita-kits na lang ha.
hay! ang cute mo talaga! u make me so kilig!!!
big girls don't cry
i hate going to hospitals. i hate going to clinics. i hate having to see a doctor, especially a dentist. i hate sitting on a cold chair, talking with a complete stranger about whatever problems you are having. that's why i want someone with me. i want you with me.
you are my strength, my refuge. despite that little voice in my head saying "c'mon ice, you can do this. you're tough. you don't need him.", i still would ask you each time i have an appointment with the doctor to come with me. out of the ten times i asked you, you refused 6 times.
that hurt.
and now, i am going to find myself once again walking by myself towards my doctor's clinic, saying to myself "it's ok. everything is going to be all right." i'll clasp my hands together because yours won't be there for me to reach and cling to. i'd sigh and wish it was you who was comforting me and not myself.
i'm tough and i'd be able to go thru this alone. i've been thru meaner, scarier situations alone and have survived. but sometimes... sometimes i wish there was someone with me to hold my hand and say " don't worry. it's gonna be all right. "
you are my strength, my refuge. despite that little voice in my head saying "c'mon ice, you can do this. you're tough. you don't need him.", i still would ask you each time i have an appointment with the doctor to come with me. out of the ten times i asked you, you refused 6 times.
that hurt.
and now, i am going to find myself once again walking by myself towards my doctor's clinic, saying to myself "it's ok. everything is going to be all right." i'll clasp my hands together because yours won't be there for me to reach and cling to. i'd sigh and wish it was you who was comforting me and not myself.
i'm tough and i'd be able to go thru this alone. i've been thru meaner, scarier situations alone and have survived. but sometimes... sometimes i wish there was someone with me to hold my hand and say " don't worry. it's gonna be all right. "
the cost of love
trish, xbox, pie, biba and i were happily chatting our working hours away, discussing everything from the latest office rumors to the mundane details of everyday survival. the importance of regular visits to an ob-gyne came up and it is at this time that trish suddenly said that the cost of love is too high for us women...
this made me stop and think: is it really?
love, of course, is invaluable. therefore, one cannot simply put a price on it and sell it off (although, i've always heard of stories such as these...). But when you think about the time, the money, the gifts...doesn't all those add up to the cost of loving someone? you stand there naked, giving everything that you could:your life, your money, your heart, your body, your everything... all in the name of love.
these thoughts made me realize that i am so very much different from the person i was before i feel into the romantic abyss. the way i act and dress are still the same. i am still me but not quite... some of my views regarding certain issues have changed and i have come to learn the meaning of "compromise".
jLo said love don't cost a thing. he certainly wouldn't have to keep me iced and i wouldn't spend his cash. i don't certainly want to drive his benz and i don't need a floss. even if he's broke, i'd still love him... and that is going to cost me.
this made me stop and think: is it really?
love, of course, is invaluable. therefore, one cannot simply put a price on it and sell it off (although, i've always heard of stories such as these...). But when you think about the time, the money, the gifts...doesn't all those add up to the cost of loving someone? you stand there naked, giving everything that you could:your life, your money, your heart, your body, your everything... all in the name of love.
these thoughts made me realize that i am so very much different from the person i was before i feel into the romantic abyss. the way i act and dress are still the same. i am still me but not quite... some of my views regarding certain issues have changed and i have come to learn the meaning of "compromise".
jLo said love don't cost a thing. he certainly wouldn't have to keep me iced and i wouldn't spend his cash. i don't certainly want to drive his benz and i don't need a floss. even if he's broke, i'd still love him... and that is going to cost me.
roughly a year and a half ago, on my first day of training for the company i'm currently working for, i felt this sudden urge to go online and chat. i used to be a chat addict. i was driven to meet people online, hoping that one of them would be him.
but after my half-baked relationship with nhell, i totally lost my taste for romance. i once again became this cynical bitch who thought that love and hearts are only great for selling hallmark cards. then that night, april 29th... i met this guy online. his nickname caught my attention: keith_is_cute.
the rest is history....
but after my half-baked relationship with nhell, i totally lost my taste for romance. i once again became this cynical bitch who thought that love and hearts are only great for selling hallmark cards. then that night, april 29th... i met this guy online. his nickname caught my attention: keith_is_cute.
the rest is history....
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