my notebook

i saw the notebook with chin and gayle. the movie was great and the company i was with even more. i am glad to have spent time with them. i missed chin... and gayle too even though we haven't been friends as long as she and chin have. they have offered valuable pieces of advice and i have once again come to them for enlightment. i am standing in the door of marriage and i badly need help.

so here comes 2 of my friends to the rescue. both single mothers, one not having been married and the other one, separated from the one she married. and there i was sitting smack in the midle of them. a single, attached woman of 23, thinking if she will marry her first love. or not.

both of them agree that i shouldn't get married right now. gayle, swearing she is not bitter over marriage, said that i should wait it out. i am young and there are still a lot of opportunities waiting for me. hmmm...true.

chin, on the other hand, also swearing she is not bitter over eternal coupledom, said that she doesn't mind seeing me married to keith really. she is concerned though that marriage might hamper my indivudual growth. she fears that i have not yet reached my full potential and that if i get married this early on in my life, i might not ever reach that. hmmm... interesting concept. and i have to agree with chin.

we decided to watch the movie after that little chat. as we were going around the mall, goofing around, questions were filling up in the back of my head. do i really want to get married? why am i so afraid? do i want to give up this, my single-blessedness? am i ready to give it up?

then i saw the notebook. all 3 of us bawled our eyes out. and i came to a realization. like allie, i know in my heart that what keith and i have is for real. this is a love that is for keeps. oh, i know that i could still go on without him. he doesn't complete me. but if i lose him, everything would never be the same for me. at one point in the movie, gayle leaned over and asked me: "do you see you and keith doing the same, loving each other till you are old and gray?". YES. no buts or ifs about it. YES.

i have come to a decision. finally.