i feel so alone at time. eventhough i'm with good company. i feel so scattered. or maybe shattered us the word. pieces of me are floating everywhere.
i'm tired. my feet are tired of walking. my mind is tired of thinking. my heart...sometimes, it feels like my heart us tired of loving.
i want to rest. some days, i juat want to sleep. just close out everything. just sleep and never wake up.
it's all so sad. my life was smooth-sailing. i was OK. now, everything just sucks. i was so sure then. now, i have no idea.
am i happy?
sometimes. some days are good. some days are bad. some days, it's the pits.
happiness is an old friend who drops by from time to time.
i get by...
i have been blessed with the most intelligent, empathetic, understanding friends. i don't get to say this to them much, but i am thankful everyday that they are at my side. they say that a friend in need is a friend indeed. along with the other lessons that i have gleaned from my recent "fall from grace", i now know who my friends are. with everything that they have done for me, especially to those two obstinate goddesses/fairy godmothers, thank you doesn't seem to be enough.
i know that they do not approve of the choices i have made. i know they want to beat some sense into me. i know thay want to kill darth so badly. para nga naman di na ko iiyak ulit. at di na ko aasa pa. but they love me so much so that they just shut up, hug me and whisper "everything's going to be all right."
so this goes out to my beloved friends, to my newfound family. i am standing tall once again, confident and full of hope, not because darth and i are together again. it's because of all of you, my fellow goddesses, that i get thru the day.
"i get by with a little help from my friends."
i know that they do not approve of the choices i have made. i know they want to beat some sense into me. i know thay want to kill darth so badly. para nga naman di na ko iiyak ulit. at di na ko aasa pa. but they love me so much so that they just shut up, hug me and whisper "everything's going to be all right."
so this goes out to my beloved friends, to my newfound family. i am standing tall once again, confident and full of hope, not because darth and i are together again. it's because of all of you, my fellow goddesses, that i get thru the day.
"i get by with a little help from my friends."
such a lovely couple...
Taken 29 June 2005 at the FBM lobby, Makati. I remember that line in Pretty Woman: " It must be difficult to let go of something so beautiful."
Ah yes... so difficult. You can put all the mementos, letters, and pictures in a box. You can throw away the flowers, even the dried ones you have so lovingly collected. You can take off the ring that he promised forever with. You can put everything in a pile and burn them...
Yet, a blast of cold air would remind you of how he held you close in his arms; how he kissed your shivers away; how he would carry you on his back when you can't or won't walk anymore. How he would dance with you under the moonlight and hum. How he would tickle you till you cry with laughter. You try and turn away, willing everything that reminds you of how good it all was to go away. You shut your eyes tight, hoping it's not his face you would see in your mind.
But it still is.
And even if you don't want to. You remember.
We make such a lovely couple. We make such a good team, great partners. All of our family, friends, and acquaintances say so. I think we are. Or rather, we were.
And that is why it is so difficult to let go. Dahil sayang...sayang.It was all good. Even now, it is still good.
Kaya kahit na may mga araw na gusto ko na siyang isuko, kalimutan... hindi ko magawa. Sayang...
Sayang.
This is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies, My Sassy Girl. Who would've thought I'd ever be singing it with so much fervor and feeling? It's in Korean,by the way, and the following is the translation.
I Believe
I believe
That although you are gone
This cannot be the end, can it?
I believe
That your journey back to me
Is just delayed, isn't it?
I remember so well
That I hurt myself as I cry
I hope you don't cry as I do
I hope you won't cry as you leave
I know you will return someday
Because I believe
I will wait for you, just you
I believe you should not cry
When you think about my pain
I believe my tears will bring you back to me
My eyes cannot forget
That it is you who make them cry
I hope you don't cry as I do
I hope you won't cry as you leave
I know you will return someday
Because I believe
Before I met you
The world was not so beautiful
Beneath the same sky
All alone I cry
But I will wait here
Just for you
Even if waiting is hopeless
It's already enough
To think of love
Time means nothing to me
I will wait for you, just you...just you
I Believe
I believe
That although you are gone
This cannot be the end, can it?
I believe
That your journey back to me
Is just delayed, isn't it?
I remember so well
That I hurt myself as I cry
I hope you don't cry as I do
I hope you won't cry as you leave
I know you will return someday
Because I believe
I will wait for you, just you
I believe you should not cry
When you think about my pain
I believe my tears will bring you back to me
My eyes cannot forget
That it is you who make them cry
I hope you don't cry as I do
I hope you won't cry as you leave
I know you will return someday
Because I believe
Before I met you
The world was not so beautiful
Beneath the same sky
All alone I cry
But I will wait here
Just for you
Even if waiting is hopeless
It's already enough
To think of love
Time means nothing to me
I will wait for you, just you...just you
stranded on the same ground
My love,
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.
Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted it until there was you.
Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.
[Chorus:]
But now i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?
My love because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i never have to if all else fail
would you be there to love me?
when all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?
why am i the only one standing stranded on the same ground?
Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.
Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.
Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted it until there was you.
Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.
[Chorus:]
But now i don't understand why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?
My love because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i never have to if all else fail
would you be there to love me?
when all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?
why am i the only one standing stranded on the same ground?
the one
i got this in the mail today:
LADIES.....
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,
who wants to show you off to the world
when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends
And says, "...that's her."
he used to feel this way about me... maybe even now.but who's to tell? only he holds the answer. my beloved.
GUYS...
Find a i am the girl who calls you baby faced
instead of hot or sexy
who i can't stand it when you hang up on
her me and calls right back,
who i would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who i doesn't don't care what you look like, but what's
inside counts the most,
Who i looks at you with the twinkle in her my eyes and
kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
i Wants to be with you in public, even if you wear
those old grass stained and ripped pants with the
bleached jersey like always,
Wait for i am the girl who is a constant reminder of
your happiness and joy, who makes you smile just
by knowingshe i loves you back.Wait for i am the girl who you give piggy back rides to
in public andshe i still is in view of her my friends,
whileshe i gets off and you hear her me go: "you're
the one for me, for always"
he is all these and more to me. " you're the one for me, for always. "
siempre te amare, mi amor.mi querido.
LADIES.....
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forhead,
who wants to show you off to the world
when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends
And says, "...that's her."
he used to feel this way about me... maybe even now.but who's to tell? only he holds the answer. my beloved.
GUYS...
instead of hot or sexy
inside counts the most,
kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips,
i Want
those old grass stained and ripped pants with the
bleached jersey like always,
your happiness and joy, who makes you smile just
by knowing
in public and
while
the one for me, for always"
he is all these and more to me. " you're the one for me, for always. "
siempre te amare, mi amor.mi querido.
for My Beloved Darth
Find Me Here, Speak To Me
I want to feel you, I need to hear you
You are the light, That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want you're all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
I want to feel you, I need to hear you
You are the light, That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want you're all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
he terminado.
it is done.
i have packed all my belongings and left. with my head held high, tears streaming down my face. i left with all my earthly possessions,in a van provided for by my fellow goddesses. like what chin said... a goddess should always leave with as much grace and poise as possible. and i did.
to the very last minute, my heart was filled to overflowing with love. love for the people who has become second family to me. love for the mortal i have come down from the heavens to care for, worship and adore.
the last two days have been hell... as i have expected. his mother was hurt so much by his revelation she left, unable to see me pack and eventually leave. his father, aunt, sister... his entire family shed tears for our love and parting. ah! such sorrow all for you and for her... and for me...
i have nothing more to say. just everything to feel.
he terminado.
i have packed all my belongings and left. with my head held high, tears streaming down my face. i left with all my earthly possessions,in a van provided for by my fellow goddesses. like what chin said... a goddess should always leave with as much grace and poise as possible. and i did.
to the very last minute, my heart was filled to overflowing with love. love for the people who has become second family to me. love for the mortal i have come down from the heavens to care for, worship and adore.
the last two days have been hell... as i have expected. his mother was hurt so much by his revelation she left, unable to see me pack and eventually leave. his father, aunt, sister... his entire family shed tears for our love and parting. ah! such sorrow all for you and for her... and for me...
i have nothing more to say. just everything to feel.
he terminado.
walanghiyang pare ko...
ampotah talagang buhay to... ngayun ko lang na-realize. wala akong trabaho, wala akong pamilya dito, wala akong tirahan, at wala akong boyfriend. hu-waw! may makukuha pa ba sa'kin?
wala na.
ka-swerte mo talaga. tangina. love na nga kita, in-love pa ko sa'yo. tsk!tsk! lahat na isinuko ko sa yo. letseng pag-ibig 'to...
sabi ni k. ang swerte ko daw kasi ang dami kong kaibigan na nagmamahal sa kin at nagpo-protekta sa 'kin. pero yun ang pinakamasakit... dahil ang pinakamamahal ko ang wala sa tabi ko... kinuha mo kasi...
ayoko na umasa na babalik pa siya. pero hindi ko lolokohin ang sarili ko at sasabihin na hindi nga ako umaasa. it's the hope that he would return to me that keeps me going everyday. gusto ko nang itigil ang lahat pero hindi ko kaya. ganun siguro talaga ang pagmamahal. love moves in mysterious ways sabi nga ng kanta. you want to give up and yet, day after day, you find it within yourself to move on. you wake up hoping he will text you, tell you all sorts of things... maybe one lie after another... and still you find reason to believe each and everyone of them. you find it in your heart, day after day to love him more and more.
ampotang pag-ibig 'to!! " kung kelan ka naging seryoso saka ka nya gagaguhin!!! "
wala na.
ka-swerte mo talaga. tangina. love na nga kita, in-love pa ko sa'yo. tsk!tsk! lahat na isinuko ko sa yo. letseng pag-ibig 'to...
sabi ni k. ang swerte ko daw kasi ang dami kong kaibigan na nagmamahal sa kin at nagpo-protekta sa 'kin. pero yun ang pinakamasakit... dahil ang pinakamamahal ko ang wala sa tabi ko... kinuha mo kasi...
ayoko na umasa na babalik pa siya. pero hindi ko lolokohin ang sarili ko at sasabihin na hindi nga ako umaasa. it's the hope that he would return to me that keeps me going everyday. gusto ko nang itigil ang lahat pero hindi ko kaya. ganun siguro talaga ang pagmamahal. love moves in mysterious ways sabi nga ng kanta. you want to give up and yet, day after day, you find it within yourself to move on. you wake up hoping he will text you, tell you all sorts of things... maybe one lie after another... and still you find reason to believe each and everyone of them. you find it in your heart, day after day to love him more and more.
ampotang pag-ibig 'to!! " kung kelan ka naging seryoso saka ka nya gagaguhin!!! "
i stumbled upon this interesting piece while looking for song lyrics. it tackles a very interesting subject: love vs. being in-love.
-------
NLOVE ka ba or LOVE mo sya? kala ko dati pareho lang pero iba pala!! basahin para
maliwanagan naman tayo.
"It's definitely different when you love someone and when you're inlove with someone"
explanation: alin nga ba ang mas malalim? Loving someone or Being in love with someone? marami sa atin ang na confuse tungkol dito.
Ikaw ba ay may girlfriend o boyfriend ngayon? Mahal mo ba siya pero parang may isang
tao na parang mahalaga din sayo? o may mahal ka na akala mo eh mahal mo nga siya
pero meron ka pa rin isang tao na minamahal ng totoo?
Kapag love mo ang isang tao masaya ka...Feeling mo ok na ang lahat...pero ang ma-inlove ka, ang siyang pinakamasakit sa lahat!
Kasi ang mga taong inlove ay ang mga taong nag-sasakripisyo at nagpaparaya. Teka bakit ka nga ba nagpaparaya? Dahil ba hindi ka niya mahal o dahil hindi ka siguradong ok lang sa kanya?
Kung yan ang dahilan mo, walang duda na inlove ka nga sa kanya. Kasi iniisip mo kung anong meron kayo sa ngayon ang tanging mahalaga at kontento ka na. Pero isipin mo paano kung mawala ang taong yon at talagang hindi na kayo mag-usap at magkita,kaya mo ba?
Paano naman kung sayo siya inlove at ibinigay niya ang lahat para sayo pero hindi mo napahalagahan ang lahat ng ito kaagad! Paano kung isang araw naguluhan na siya sayo ng husto at maisipang lumayo na lang?
Paano kung sa sobrang pagiging iba (indifferent) mo sa kanya di ka na niya kausapin at tuldukan na niya ng tuluyan kung ano na ang meron kayo?
Then bigla mong na realize kung gaano ka importante sayo ang bawat isa kaya lang
wala na siya!
Kaya mo ba?
Kung hindi ang sagot mo, malinaw na inlove ka nga...
Paano naman pag mahal mo lang, kapag mahal mo lang, alam mo na palagi kang may choice,ayaw mo siyang mawala dahil alam mong wala kang ipapalit. Yung masaya ka sa kanya pero sa gabi hindi naman siya ang iniisip mo. Mahal mo siya pero aminado ka sa sarili mo na balang araw hindi siya ang pakakasalan mo. Mahal mo siya pero ang puso mo hindi lang pra sa kanya..
Mahal mo at masasaktan ka pagnawala siya pero alm mo na kaya mo yon.
Ngayon anong nararamdaman mo ngayon: DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE or YOU'RE INLOVE WITH
SOMEONE?
Isang araw magigising ka na lang na INLOVE ka na nga pero kahit anong gawin mo ay huli na. Dahil maaaring yung taong INLOVE din sayo ay wala na pala.
Tandaan mo: Masyadong mapaglaro ang puso huwag tayo magpaloko!!!
We learn to love someone pero minsan lang dumating sa atin ang pagkakataong ma-inlove!!!
Kaya kapag dumating ito, ano ang gagawin mo?
Post mo ulit ito at tulungan natin na maliwanagan ang iba...
This is real, nkatulong na ito sa iba, at ito ang naging dahilan para masabi
niya ang totoo sa taong inlove siya.
-----
Sana sa kin sya in-love...
-------
NLOVE ka ba or LOVE mo sya? kala ko dati pareho lang pero iba pala!! basahin para
maliwanagan naman tayo.
"It's definitely different when you love someone and when you're inlove with someone"
explanation: alin nga ba ang mas malalim? Loving someone or Being in love with someone? marami sa atin ang na confuse tungkol dito.
Ikaw ba ay may girlfriend o boyfriend ngayon? Mahal mo ba siya pero parang may isang
tao na parang mahalaga din sayo? o may mahal ka na akala mo eh mahal mo nga siya
pero meron ka pa rin isang tao na minamahal ng totoo?
Kapag love mo ang isang tao masaya ka...Feeling mo ok na ang lahat...pero ang ma-inlove ka, ang siyang pinakamasakit sa lahat!
Kasi ang mga taong inlove ay ang mga taong nag-sasakripisyo at nagpaparaya. Teka bakit ka nga ba nagpaparaya? Dahil ba hindi ka niya mahal o dahil hindi ka siguradong ok lang sa kanya?
Kung yan ang dahilan mo, walang duda na inlove ka nga sa kanya. Kasi iniisip mo kung anong meron kayo sa ngayon ang tanging mahalaga at kontento ka na. Pero isipin mo paano kung mawala ang taong yon at talagang hindi na kayo mag-usap at magkita,kaya mo ba?
Paano naman kung sayo siya inlove at ibinigay niya ang lahat para sayo pero hindi mo napahalagahan ang lahat ng ito kaagad! Paano kung isang araw naguluhan na siya sayo ng husto at maisipang lumayo na lang?
Paano kung sa sobrang pagiging iba (indifferent) mo sa kanya di ka na niya kausapin at tuldukan na niya ng tuluyan kung ano na ang meron kayo?
Then bigla mong na realize kung gaano ka importante sayo ang bawat isa kaya lang
wala na siya!
Kaya mo ba?
Kung hindi ang sagot mo, malinaw na inlove ka nga...
Paano naman pag mahal mo lang, kapag mahal mo lang, alam mo na palagi kang may choice,ayaw mo siyang mawala dahil alam mong wala kang ipapalit. Yung masaya ka sa kanya pero sa gabi hindi naman siya ang iniisip mo. Mahal mo siya pero aminado ka sa sarili mo na balang araw hindi siya ang pakakasalan mo. Mahal mo siya pero ang puso mo hindi lang pra sa kanya..
Mahal mo at masasaktan ka pagnawala siya pero alm mo na kaya mo yon.
Ngayon anong nararamdaman mo ngayon: DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE or YOU'RE INLOVE WITH
SOMEONE?
Isang araw magigising ka na lang na INLOVE ka na nga pero kahit anong gawin mo ay huli na. Dahil maaaring yung taong INLOVE din sayo ay wala na pala.
Tandaan mo: Masyadong mapaglaro ang puso huwag tayo magpaloko!!!
We learn to love someone pero minsan lang dumating sa atin ang pagkakataong ma-inlove!!!
Kaya kapag dumating ito, ano ang gagawin mo?
Post mo ulit ito at tulungan natin na maliwanagan ang iba...
This is real, nkatulong na ito sa iba, at ito ang naging dahilan para masabi
niya ang totoo sa taong inlove siya.
-----
Sana sa kin sya in-love...
attack of the living dead
ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng buhay na patay. o patay na buhay?... wala na kong maramdaman. naiiyak ako pero wala na kong mailabas na luha. ang bigat ng dibdib ko. nagbibiro si mari kanina. natatawa ako pero ngiti lang ang nagawa ko. nagpa-exam si el profesor sa spanish class. hindi ko malaman kung pano ko nasagot basta ipinasa ko sa kanya. sana pasado.
siguro puyat lang ako. mahigit 24 oras na kong gising. hindi ako makatulog eh. gusto ko nang matulog pero hindi ko magawa. ayaw kasi tumigil ng isip ko sa kakaisip eh.
kelan ba matatapos to?! bakit ba pag kelangan mo ng blade wala kang makita? dyaskeng naman o. ang dali-daling matapos nito. blade lang.
ang tanong, pag may blade na sa tabi ko magawa ko kaya ang kinakailangan?...malamang hindi. kasi ganun ang buhay. pag nandyan sa tabi mo, hindi mo kailangan. pag wala, hahanapin mo. parang ikaw. nasa tabi mo na nga ako eh kulang pa rin.
naglalakad ako,nagsasalita ako pero pakiramdam ko hindi ako ito. there is a huge emty feling inside me. siguro ganito ang feeling ng namamatay. so bakit pa ko papakamatay? matagal na kong namatay. kasalukuyan na kong nakaburol. ilang araw na lang... ililibing na ko.
siguro puyat lang ako. mahigit 24 oras na kong gising. hindi ako makatulog eh. gusto ko nang matulog pero hindi ko magawa. ayaw kasi tumigil ng isip ko sa kakaisip eh.
kelan ba matatapos to?! bakit ba pag kelangan mo ng blade wala kang makita? dyaskeng naman o. ang dali-daling matapos nito. blade lang.
ang tanong, pag may blade na sa tabi ko magawa ko kaya ang kinakailangan?...malamang hindi. kasi ganun ang buhay. pag nandyan sa tabi mo, hindi mo kailangan. pag wala, hahanapin mo. parang ikaw. nasa tabi mo na nga ako eh kulang pa rin.
naglalakad ako,nagsasalita ako pero pakiramdam ko hindi ako ito. there is a huge emty feling inside me. siguro ganito ang feeling ng namamatay. so bakit pa ko papakamatay? matagal na kong namatay. kasalukuyan na kong nakaburol. ilang araw na lang... ililibing na ko.
kahit ano... basta ikaw.
" and i'd do anything for you..."
your wish is my command. kaya heto ako. nakaubos na ng isang kahang yosi. nagpalipas ng gabi kasama si pims sa pansamantala kong tirahan.
marami kaming napag-usapan bukod sa iyo. naisip ko lahat ng kantang pwede kong ide-dicate sa yo. madami-dami din pala. naisip ko din kung ano ang pinakamagandang solusyon sa sitwasyon.
ano nga ba?...
alam ko na ang sagot. at alam kong hinihintay mo na lang na sabihin ko sa'yo. nararamdaman ko na buo na sa isip mo ang isang plano. palagay ko eh nakapagdesisyon ka na pero hindi mo masabi sa kin. i know you to be too much of a good man to say it to me. so what you're doing is slowly extricating yourself from me.
i am ever the contradictory person. i keep telling you that i will let you go because of my great love for you but here i am, unable to. pakiramdam ko pag pinalaya kita sa commitment mo sa kin, diretso ka na sa kanya. forever and ever till death do you part na kayo. pa'no naman ako?... pero ano pa nga ba ang mangyayari?...
wag ka mag-alala. i was little ms.independent once, i could regain that title. i will try to extricate myself from you no matter how painful. i will let you go because i cannot bear to see the man i love racked with guilt, frustration, and fear. i love you too much to just stand here and see you suffer.
kung sa pagbalik ko sa bahay nyo ay wala ka pa ring desisyon, ako na ang gagawa para sa 'ting tatlo.
may Bathala be with us.
your wish is my command. kaya heto ako. nakaubos na ng isang kahang yosi. nagpalipas ng gabi kasama si pims sa pansamantala kong tirahan.
marami kaming napag-usapan bukod sa iyo. naisip ko lahat ng kantang pwede kong ide-dicate sa yo. madami-dami din pala. naisip ko din kung ano ang pinakamagandang solusyon sa sitwasyon.
ano nga ba?...
alam ko na ang sagot. at alam kong hinihintay mo na lang na sabihin ko sa'yo. nararamdaman ko na buo na sa isip mo ang isang plano. palagay ko eh nakapagdesisyon ka na pero hindi mo masabi sa kin. i know you to be too much of a good man to say it to me. so what you're doing is slowly extricating yourself from me.
i am ever the contradictory person. i keep telling you that i will let you go because of my great love for you but here i am, unable to. pakiramdam ko pag pinalaya kita sa commitment mo sa kin, diretso ka na sa kanya. forever and ever till death do you part na kayo. pa'no naman ako?... pero ano pa nga ba ang mangyayari?...
wag ka mag-alala. i was little ms.independent once, i could regain that title. i will try to extricate myself from you no matter how painful. i will let you go because i cannot bear to see the man i love racked with guilt, frustration, and fear. i love you too much to just stand here and see you suffer.
kung sa pagbalik ko sa bahay nyo ay wala ka pa ring desisyon, ako na ang gagawa para sa 'ting tatlo.
may Bathala be with us.
me and K.
andito na sya. si K. she's sitting right in front of me. she is not the woman i thought or pictured to be. i thought she was different.
but she's just like me.
we share the same views. talk almost the same way. we have the same principles, the same moral values. she's fairer than i am, but still morena. her eyes are neither small nor big. they're just right.like mine. but her eyelashes are longer than mine. her lips thinner but just as wide as mine. her nose is a bit taller than mine. yah... she's pretty. prettier than i am.
we got to talk about things and the more we talked the more i felt like i was speaking with myself. we went down to smoke and we have the same habits. i happened to glance at her cheek, her right cheek. lo and behold! she also has a beauty mark somewhere along her right jaw line. well, well... don't i have a beauty mark on the same spot as well?
i could see why you are falling for her. she is just like me and you are falling for her the same way you fell for me. napakadali nyang mahalin. katulad ko di ba?
mahal kita at lahat ng mahal mo minahal ko. at pati si K. mamahalin ko rin. actually, we're friends now.
fate plays mortals for fools. naloloko na ata tayong 3. boyfriend kita at si K., kaibigan ko na.
the plot thickens.
but she's just like me.
we share the same views. talk almost the same way. we have the same principles, the same moral values. she's fairer than i am, but still morena. her eyes are neither small nor big. they're just right.like mine. but her eyelashes are longer than mine. her lips thinner but just as wide as mine. her nose is a bit taller than mine. yah... she's pretty. prettier than i am.
we got to talk about things and the more we talked the more i felt like i was speaking with myself. we went down to smoke and we have the same habits. i happened to glance at her cheek, her right cheek. lo and behold! she also has a beauty mark somewhere along her right jaw line. well, well... don't i have a beauty mark on the same spot as well?
i could see why you are falling for her. she is just like me and you are falling for her the same way you fell for me. napakadali nyang mahalin. katulad ko di ba?
mahal kita at lahat ng mahal mo minahal ko. at pati si K. mamahalin ko rin. actually, we're friends now.
fate plays mortals for fools. naloloko na ata tayong 3. boyfriend kita at si K., kaibigan ko na.
the plot thickens.
i'm about to meet her, the woman you are currently in-love with me. my heart is beating fast. i want to smoke but it's not allowed here in mcdo. does her heart beat fast too? is she also looking toward this meeting with trepidation?
what am i going to say to her? am i going to ask her to stay away from you? maybe. i know that's bad and selfish. but i can't afford to lose you to her.
ah! the pain! it just won't go away. it's right in the center of my heart. it sits ever so comfortably. it moves from time to time and i find myself wincing, eventually crying.
all these confusion and pain. all for you.
what am i going to say to her? am i going to ask her to stay away from you? maybe. i know that's bad and selfish. but i can't afford to lose you to her.
ah! the pain! it just won't go away. it's right in the center of my heart. it sits ever so comfortably. it moves from time to time and i find myself wincing, eventually crying.
all these confusion and pain. all for you.
ayoko na umiyak. promise! kasi alam ko nasasaktan ka pag umiiyak ako. nakakapagod na rin. luluwa na ang mga mata ko. lalo lang akong papangit.
tama na!!!
mahal kita. kahit baliktarin, alugin, basagin ang ulo ko... hindi na magbabago yon. mahal kita.
kaya tuloy hindi ko malaman ang gagawain ko na rin.
ano ba talaga?! mahal mo ba ako o siya?!!
hay naku... di bale na. baka patay na ko pag nalaman ko ang sagot.
mahal mo ko at mahal mo sya. fine! hindi kita maiwan eh. i love you too much to give you up.
they say love is a sacrifice. and so i will commit suicide. ay mali!!! sacrifice. i will commit the sacrifice.
ikaw na at ako. andito na ako sa tabi. at di na ko aalis.
tama na!!!
mahal kita. kahit baliktarin, alugin, basagin ang ulo ko... hindi na magbabago yon. mahal kita.
kaya tuloy hindi ko malaman ang gagawain ko na rin.
ano ba talaga?! mahal mo ba ako o siya?!!
hay naku... di bale na. baka patay na ko pag nalaman ko ang sagot.
mahal mo ko at mahal mo sya. fine! hindi kita maiwan eh. i love you too much to give you up.
they say love is a sacrifice. and so i will commit suicide. ay mali!!! sacrifice. i will commit the sacrifice.
ikaw na at ako. andito na ako sa tabi. at di na ko aalis.
bumuhos ang malakas na ulan kanina. hudyat na patapos na ang tag-araw. halos walang pagtila ang ulan. tulad ng mga luhang namamalisbis sa mga mata ko...
tama nga ang hinala ko. nahuhulog na ang loob mo sa kanya. paano nangyari 'to? akala ko ba ako lang ang mahal mo?... hindi mo alam kung bakit o paano, ni hindi mo alam kung ano ang plano mo...
sabi nga ni Yoda sa Star Wars, " Your fear, I sense. " alam kong nalilito ka at hindi mo malaman ang gagawin mo. guto kitang tulungan pero paano? sasabihin ko bang sumama ka sa kanya at magpakasaya? o pipigilan ba kita at sasabihin kong dito ka lang sa piling ko?...
hindi ko kailanman didiktahan ang puso mo. ikaw ang makakapagpasya kung saan ka mas liligaya. kung mas magiging masaya ka sa kanya... sige lang. 'wag mong alalahanin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko... tulad ng sinabi sa isang kanta:" ang pag-ibig kong handang ibigay kahit pa ang kalayaan mo. "
ano ang plano ko? simple. humanap ng bagong trabaho... at mahalin ka ng higit pa... yun lang naman ang alam ko e... magtrabaho at mahalin ka...
kaya itigil mo na ang pag-iisip... kalamayin mo ang iyong loob.anuman ang mangyari... hindi kita iiwan.
siempre te amare, keith. siempre...
tama nga ang hinala ko. nahuhulog na ang loob mo sa kanya. paano nangyari 'to? akala ko ba ako lang ang mahal mo?... hindi mo alam kung bakit o paano, ni hindi mo alam kung ano ang plano mo...
sabi nga ni Yoda sa Star Wars, " Your fear, I sense. " alam kong nalilito ka at hindi mo malaman ang gagawin mo. guto kitang tulungan pero paano? sasabihin ko bang sumama ka sa kanya at magpakasaya? o pipigilan ba kita at sasabihin kong dito ka lang sa piling ko?...
hindi ko kailanman didiktahan ang puso mo. ikaw ang makakapagpasya kung saan ka mas liligaya. kung mas magiging masaya ka sa kanya... sige lang. 'wag mong alalahanin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko... tulad ng sinabi sa isang kanta:" ang pag-ibig kong handang ibigay kahit pa ang kalayaan mo. "
ano ang plano ko? simple. humanap ng bagong trabaho... at mahalin ka ng higit pa... yun lang naman ang alam ko e... magtrabaho at mahalin ka...
kaya itigil mo na ang pag-iisip... kalamayin mo ang iyong loob.anuman ang mangyari... hindi kita iiwan.
siempre te amare, keith. siempre...
sa loob ng 3 taon ko sa macro, bawat party na dinaluhan ko, ikaw ang kasama ko. pero iba na ngayon... kasama mo sila... kasama ko iba...
pagpasok ni meme, nakita na niya ako. ang bungad niya ay hindi "hello". "nasan'n si keith?"
isang matamis-mapait na ngiti ang sagot ko. "ikaw talaga meme", sabi ko."andito naman ako, bakit sya pa ang hanap mo?"
unti-unting nagsidating silang lahat. nakakatawa. ikaw ang hanap nila.
paano ko ipaliliwanag na nagbago na ang lahat? paano ko sasabihin, nang walang bahid ng hinanakit, na mas pinili mo sila kaysa sa 'kin? paano ko ipaliliwanag na inurong mo ang araw ng kasal?
ngiti lang ang sagot ko sa lahat ng tanong nila. isang hithit sa hawak kong yosi. isang buga ng usok sabay lagok ng vodka ice...
pagpasok ni meme, nakita na niya ako. ang bungad niya ay hindi "hello". "nasan'n si keith?"
isang matamis-mapait na ngiti ang sagot ko. "ikaw talaga meme", sabi ko."andito naman ako, bakit sya pa ang hanap mo?"
unti-unting nagsidating silang lahat. nakakatawa. ikaw ang hanap nila.
paano ko ipaliliwanag na nagbago na ang lahat? paano ko sasabihin, nang walang bahid ng hinanakit, na mas pinili mo sila kaysa sa 'kin? paano ko ipaliliwanag na inurong mo ang araw ng kasal?
ngiti lang ang sagot ko sa lahat ng tanong nila. isang hithit sa hawak kong yosi. isang buga ng usok sabay lagok ng vodka ice...
in ada's arms
i had the pleasure of holding ada in my arms last night at chin's party. she was heavy, 30 pounds. but i welcomed her weight. i gloried on carrying her around/ she didn't seem to mind and looked as if she liked me. that made my heart swell with happiness.
i eventually had to put her down. we had to leave. i kissed her goodbye and almost cried.
i felt like i was kissing a child i will never have.
i eventually had to put her down. we had to leave. i kissed her goodbye and almost cried.
i felt like i was kissing a child i will never have.
"Mahal... Sa'n ka natulog kagabi?"
kagabi nalaman ko
ang oras bumabagal din pala
lalo na pag hinihintay kita.
kagabi napatunayan ko
mahal talaga kita
ala-una, alas dos
baka kung napano ka na.
kagabi naisip ko
mayron ka na kayang iba?
alas-tres kanina, alas-kuwatro na
kasama mo kaya kung sinuman siya?
kagabi napagtanto ko
nakakapuyat, nakakapagod mahalin ka
alas-singko kanina, alas-sais na pala
pero wala ka pa.
alas-siete na nang umaga ng dumating ka.
ipagpapasalamat ko pa ba?
naitanong ko sa sarili ko...
hanggang kailan kita mamahalin?
hindi ko alam ang sagot.
ang alam ko lang ay ang natuklasan ko
habang hinihintay kita kagabi
ang oras bumabagal palang talaga
habang minamahal kita.
ang oras bumabagal din pala
lalo na pag hinihintay kita.
kagabi napatunayan ko
mahal talaga kita
ala-una, alas dos
baka kung napano ka na.
kagabi naisip ko
mayron ka na kayang iba?
alas-tres kanina, alas-kuwatro na
kasama mo kaya kung sinuman siya?
kagabi napagtanto ko
nakakapuyat, nakakapagod mahalin ka
alas-singko kanina, alas-sais na pala
pero wala ka pa.
alas-siete na nang umaga ng dumating ka.
ipagpapasalamat ko pa ba?
naitanong ko sa sarili ko...
hanggang kailan kita mamahalin?
hindi ko alam ang sagot.
ang alam ko lang ay ang natuklasan ko
habang hinihintay kita kagabi
ang oras bumabagal palang talaga
habang minamahal kita.
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