i was interviewed last week for the Quality Assurance Coordinator position i applied to about two... maybe three months ago. it was the final interview and it took a long time for it to come by. and now... i wait...and wait... will i be part of the QA team now along with pims? i wait... but i am not holding my breath. i trusted people too much in this office... gave some people a lot more credit than they deserve. i rarely make the same mistake twice... and so i wait. breathe in, breath out.
i will wait till march 15. if i get it with pims, then good. if i don't... i'll go.
meanwhile i will wallow in depression over my fat, ugly body (entirely my own opinion, keith still thinks i'm a sexy bitch... heehhehehe), my imprudence, and the bland wedding that keith and i will have on july. *sigh*. i don't like to look at bridal magazines these days. i have found out this morning, as i passed by a magazine store on my way to work, that bridal magazines could be hazardous to my health. i glanced at them and winced as i felt this little pinch in my heart.
i have made my bed and i will lie in it. but somehow, i can't help but sigh as i lay myself on that bed. it would take a couple of twisting and turning till i find a comfortable position.
Para kay... At para kay...
The Reason
-Hoobastank-
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...
I'm NOT sorry that I hurt you
It's something I
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that
That's why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You...
and the reason is you...
and the reason is you...
and the reason is you...
I'm not a perfect person
I
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you...
I've found a reason to leave... and the reason is you...
i find myself surfing jobstreet.com more and more often these days. once in a while, i would find myself clicking on the apply button... no, these are not random trancelike acts... i am in the prowl not only for a new blogskin or layout, i am also on the lookout for a better job.
my manager, then my supervisor, informed me during one of our few verbal battles thru email that i should challenge myself and set higher standards for myself. well honey, guess what. i'm upping my standards all right. you as a superior and this company you have turned into hell-on- earth does not meet my elite criteria. so as soon as i have my hard-earned money, i'll be packing my bags and going.
my team leader, who i used to hold in such high esteem, served me with a memo last month, january. she served the memo as soon as i got back on the night shift. the tardiness i have incurred that warranted such a memo occurred between october 19 to november 19 of last year. the memo asked me to explain why i was tardy during those dates. i wrote back saying that i was demotivated and demoralized over the september promotions. i said, in not so many words, that i have lost the drive to work for this company.
she served me with a 2-day suspension a few days after i replied to her "show cause" memo. she said that my being demotivated and demoralized is not reason enough for me not to deliver what is expected of me at work. she said it in the same breath that informed me our account's management treats its employees as people... something is wrong with her statements. something is terribly wrong...
i know i have misgivings. i know i am not perfect. but i own up to my mistakes. management does not owe me any sked adjust. it owes me a lot more. it owes me its salary. it owes me its existence. i don't believe my account's management ever read Utopia. sad. they should most especially now that they have lost about 10 people in the span of a month.
and they are standing to lose more...
my manager, then my supervisor, informed me during one of our few verbal battles thru email that i should challenge myself and set higher standards for myself. well honey, guess what. i'm upping my standards all right. you as a superior and this company you have turned into hell-on- earth does not meet my elite criteria. so as soon as i have my hard-earned money, i'll be packing my bags and going.
my team leader, who i used to hold in such high esteem, served me with a memo last month, january. she served the memo as soon as i got back on the night shift. the tardiness i have incurred that warranted such a memo occurred between october 19 to november 19 of last year. the memo asked me to explain why i was tardy during those dates. i wrote back saying that i was demotivated and demoralized over the september promotions. i said, in not so many words, that i have lost the drive to work for this company.
she served me with a 2-day suspension a few days after i replied to her "show cause" memo. she said that my being demotivated and demoralized is not reason enough for me not to deliver what is expected of me at work. she said it in the same breath that informed me our account's management treats its employees as people... something is wrong with her statements. something is terribly wrong...
i know i have misgivings. i know i am not perfect. but i own up to my mistakes. management does not owe me any sked adjust. it owes me a lot more. it owes me its salary. it owes me its existence. i don't believe my account's management ever read Utopia. sad. they should most especially now that they have lost about 10 people in the span of a month.
and they are standing to lose more...
yes... the princess is back. it's been a long time since i last wrote down my thoughts. happy hearts' day is just around the block. no doubt my heart will remain happy. it'll be a little broken and cut in some areas but keith and i are doing a great job keeping it all in one piece.
we are oh-so-well settled in our little private space over at keith's place. there is no talk whatsoever of me leaving. the wedding is still on although this time it will not be the church wedding we are planning to have. keith is between jobs right now. my poor baby. money is kinda tight. we don't want to ask anyone for a loan or for any favors. so we've decided to keep it at its utmost simplicity. a civil wedding will do just fine. honestly, i find it all so anti-climactic. after all the brouhaha... *sigh* what else is there left for us but to just get married and move on to better things?
things are pretty well between me and my mom. my dad's still holding a grudge and maybe all of my family are. but i could hardly care. i am too busy and tired to fight with them tooth and nail over the inevitable. i will marry keith.
either way, whatever happens... i will be with keith. that's all that matters.
happy 31st monthsary, baby.
we are oh-so-well settled in our little private space over at keith's place. there is no talk whatsoever of me leaving. the wedding is still on although this time it will not be the church wedding we are planning to have. keith is between jobs right now. my poor baby. money is kinda tight. we don't want to ask anyone for a loan or for any favors. so we've decided to keep it at its utmost simplicity. a civil wedding will do just fine. honestly, i find it all so anti-climactic. after all the brouhaha... *sigh* what else is there left for us but to just get married and move on to better things?
things are pretty well between me and my mom. my dad's still holding a grudge and maybe all of my family are. but i could hardly care. i am too busy and tired to fight with them tooth and nail over the inevitable. i will marry keith.
either way, whatever happens... i will be with keith. that's all that matters.
happy 31st monthsary, baby.
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