the new year was ushered in with tears in my eyes...another disastrous, humiliating phone call with my mom.
she finally said it. she told me in not so many words, that they don't want me to get married yet. "hindi ka pa nakakatulong sa amin eh mag-aasawa ka na agad." those words just killed me.
i asked her what help they need. hindi naman nya masabi. gusto ba nila na padalhan ko sila ng pera regularly? ano ba gusto nila? bahala na daw ako. ang sa kanila lang daw eh pag nag-asawa na ako, hindi na sila makakalapit sa 'kin pag nangangailangan sila. kasi may asawa na 'ko at lahat ay dapat kong isangguni sa asawa ko.
i defended my side and keith's side. keith has agreed to let me keep my own money. i told them that although i ask for keith's opinion or suggestions, i still go by what i think and feel is right. hindi naman ako boba para magpa-domina sa boyfriend ko o sa mapapangasawa ko. at alam ni keith yan. ilang beses nya bang sinabi na ako ang kontra-bulate sa buhay nya?
but my mom just won't hear none of it. she just kept saying over and over again :"hindi ka pa nakakatulong sa amin eh mag-aasawa ka na agad." ok lang naman daw kung magpapakasal ako, hindi naman daw sila tutol kay keith pero yun nga lang daw..."hindi ka pa nakakatulong sa amin eh mag-aasawa ka na agad."
i argued with her with my future in-laws within earshot. i eventually just gave up and told her that if they don't want me to get married, then i won't. i'll move out of keith's house and wait for the time when they will be ready for me to get married. bigla naman syang kabig. ituloy daw namin ang kasal kasi nakakahiya daw sa magulang ni keith. mas lalo lang daw silang malalagay sa alanganin.
*sigh*. happy new year.
