it's been a month since i last blogged. christmas has come and gone. new year is just a few days away... keith has started on his new job. he's enjoying it. i'm so happy for him.
we're still on for the wedding. yes, still pushing thru despite my family's annoyance, especially my mom's. i have realized three weeks ago, thru another horrific phone call with my mom, that they are against the impending marriage. why? i have no idea. it could be because they think i'm still too young. or maybe because they're scared. fear makes people say and do the stupidest things. we got into a fight about the invitations which have not been sent out and will not be sent out till a month before the wedding. and that is still 7 months away.
she wanted me to invite my father's relatives. the same people who mocked my family. the same people who talked behind my back. the very people who looked down on me and my family and called us names. the people who threatened to shoot my soon-to-be husband if he doesn't "shape up". i put my foot down and refused her request.
she told me she won't go then. she said i should be grateful because these people took me in; that i should forget the past and bury whatever cruel things they said and did. she said that it would be an embarrassment to her and my dad if they are the only ones to go to my wedding; it would be just an invitation, a "socially correct" gesture. pabalat-bunga lang. she even went on to say something to the effect of " you share their last name and it's important that they are also there."
well, i don't go for that crap. if i don't like someone, i don't like him. i won't go out of my way to perform a "socially correct" gesture to people i do not like. if the occasion calls for it, i could be civil towards them. but that occasion shouldn't be my wedding. i explained to her that the number of guests are at a minimum. it's because we are on a budget and that we want a small, intimate affair. only the people absolutely close to us would be there. i told her that my last name should not be an issue. if they want their last name back, then they could have it. besides, my last name will soon be changed.
she got nasty and said that if that's how i look at things then she would go to the nearest civil registry and have it changed to the "original" name i have. that did it. that just broke me. she keeps on saying that i should forget about my being adopted but then here she is, slapping it in front of my face during an argument i feel we shouldn't even be having.
fine. let's invite those good-for-nothing bastard and bitches. after all, i'm sure they will have the decency not to go. yah, right. i cried and cried the whole day. i sobered up just before going home. i don't want keith to know i've been crying the whole day. besides, i have to break the news to him about some uninvited guests being invited and i want to be able to say it right. on our way home, i broke down and told him the call i had with my mom. he hugged me and said " if they have to be invited, then we'll invite them. i'll be civil with them. you'll be civil with them. that's it."
i have to hand it to keith. everything seems so easy for him. everything is "ok, fine, let's get it on." he spoke with my mom the other day to greet them a merry christmas. i don't have the courage to speak with them yet. the last phone call was too much for me i guess. keith told her that i have a bad case of sore throat and cold which is very much true. at some point during their talk, keith called me to his side. i saw tears burning in his eyes. he mouthed the words "i love you" and hugged me close. i must have looked quizzical because he then pulled up his phone, opened it to write me a message, and wrote this down in between short answers to my mom: " your mom is ranting about the invitations. she is not happy about the wedding."
i hugged him back.
keith asked me if i was happy this christmas. i told him i was. i could be happier, really... but then again i got a few gifts from his family, my family is safe in bacolod, keith and i both have jobs and are safe and healthy, i have friends who love and care for me and showered me with gifts this holiday season (unlike some people i know who hardly got any!)...i have keith. i'm thankful... and happy... for all that.
