i find myself surfing jobstreet.com more and more often these days. once in a while, i would find myself clicking on the apply button... no, these are not random trancelike acts... i am in the prowl not only for a new blogskin or layout, i am also on the lookout for a better job.

my manager, then my supervisor, informed me during one of our few verbal battles thru email that i should challenge myself and set higher standards for myself. well honey, guess what. i'm upping my standards all right. you as a superior and this company you have turned into hell-on- earth does not meet my elite criteria. so as soon as i have my hard-earned money, i'll be packing my bags and going.

my team leader, who i used to hold in such high esteem, served me with a memo last month, january. she served the memo as soon as i got back on the night shift. the tardiness i have incurred that warranted such a memo occurred between october 19 to november 19 of last year. the memo asked me to explain why i was tardy during those dates. i wrote back saying that i was demotivated and demoralized over the september promotions. i said, in not so many words, that i have lost the drive to work for this company.

she served me with a 2-day suspension a few days after i replied to her "show cause" memo. she said that my being demotivated and demoralized is not reason enough for me not to deliver what is expected of me at work. she said it in the same breath that informed me our account's management treats its employees as people... something is wrong with her statements. something is terribly wrong...

i know i have misgivings. i know i am not perfect. but i own up to my mistakes. management does not owe me any sked adjust. it owes me a lot more. it owes me its salary. it owes me its existence. i don't believe my account's management ever read Utopia. sad. they should most especially now that they have lost about 10 people in the span of a month.

and they are standing to lose more...

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